


he's a pain in the ass and he doesn't come pre-lubed

by MiaSif



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Funny, Heroes, Idiots in Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Castiel (Supernatural), Oblivious Gabriel (Supernatural), Oblivious Sam Winchester, Pranks, Prankster Sam Winchester, Slow Burn, Sneaky Castiel (Supernatural), word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:21:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 28,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24310468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaSif/pseuds/MiaSif
Summary: sns about the title.this has a plot, somewhere...over the rainbow.mostly filled with sabriel (cough-gabriel-cough) nonsensebut sam gets some zingers ini really don't write sex, regardless of what the title alludes tobc it's the falling that i love- it's so ungraceful and so very sam.luckily for him, gabriel's there to catch him08/03/2020- just wrote my first sex scene. so much for never writing sex
Relationships: Amara/Billie (Supernatural: Form and Void), Billie/Amara, Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel, Gabriel & Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Sabriel - Relationship
Comments: 16
Kudos: 103





	1. u ken col me cake cos ill go st8 2 ur ass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [UnfortunatelyObsessed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelyObsessed/gifts).



> *gifted to her bc she's fkn hilarious and witty af. thought she might enjoy some of my own brand of stupidity as well. she has a fkn fabulous Debriel fic, go check it out. u won't regret it.
> 
> destiel to come, just really feel like highlighting sabriel here. maybe i'll just end up making it a part two. either way. enjoy it for the crack it is. im at work, i need to look busy, im typing away, and i have zero regrets. what could be more fun?

Gabriel is a pain in the ass. 

Sam knows it, Dean knows it, Gabriel _definitely_ knows it- even Cas and Jack with their limited social skills recognize it. 

Sam had been suffering having him around ever since Billie had lured him back into the fold with the promise of a completely healed True Form. Yes, _lured._ It turned out that the bastard had played yet another trick on the Winchester Brothers™ back in Apocalypse World. He'd not died, instead he struck up a deal with Lucifer of all people and in a surprisingly genial movie, Lucifer had followed through, giving his brother the archangel equivalent of a piggy back ride back into Earth Proper. 

Of course, as soon as they made it back, Gabriel vamoosed to only Chuck knows where and, no, Sam hadn't grieved. Why would he grieve for the most irritating archangel in the garrison? And he'd been with Lucifer as a mental hospital roomie, so that was really saying something. Anyways, ever since then, he'd come around from time to time. He'd enter the bunker just to bug them, prank them, eat their bloody desserts (Sam had been saving that tiramisu, chuck dammit!) and then leave without so much as a by your leave. 

The bastard. 

What really made Sam's blood boil were all the pick up lines (the raunchiest things Sam had ever heard because Gabriel liked to play obtuse and pretend to not know the definition of the word _boundaries)_ , riddles, and stupid puns that Gabriel seemed to throw his way every time. It wouldn't really bother Sam, except that he never stuck around long enough for Sam to find out if he got the riddle answers right and yes, Sam could check them on the internet but _that wasn't the point._

And he was a damn liar too. He had insisted that he needed Sam's phone number and even as Sam was emphatically shaking his head _no,_ Cas (henceforth known as _Brute)_ was handing him his cell so that he could pull it from there. Gabriel didn't even _have_ a cell phone so why he needed Sam's number was beyond his comprehension but when it came to Gabriel, he understood that absolutely nothing made sense and he was honestly better off not asking.

So now, Sam's phone went off at all hours of the day _even when he put it on silent or even turned it off,_ because that's the sort of arsehole that Gabriel was. All those phenomenal cosmic powers and this is what he used them for. No wonder Chuck had decided to try humans on for size.

Well, ok he took that back, that was a bit mean, but seriously the texting had gotten to the point that Sam could _feel_ not only when a text was about to arrive but the hairs on the back of his neck would stand on end and he instinctively knew it was from Gabriel. He was right. Every time.

Take now, for instance. It was 3:47 in the bloody morning and his cellphone text alert was going off. Nevermind that he had pointedly turned it completely off _and_ had purposely left it in the map room. He'd thought that having had resorted to such tactics it would grant him an interrupted night of rest but apparently that was asking for next to the _impossible_ from the bloody archangel whose idea of a good text chime was "here's johnny". Sam had bolted straight up as soon as the creepy tone entered his consciousness. 

_Seriously? The Shining?_ He thought at Gabriel knowing he was listening in. Laughter echo'd in his room and even though he knew it was Gabriel the disembodied voice still made his skin crawl. He opened the text (he'd woken up with his cell in hand) and apparently Gabriel had known how he was going to react because it read, "It could have been worse. I could have used Pennywise."

Sam broke out in a sweat. No, he thought firmly. _No. If you do, I'll trap you in a ring of holy fire until you learn how to behave._

His phone chimed again. _There are better ways to get me to behave. Paddle my rear, Sammy. I've been a very bad boy._

Sam scowled. _Considering I get beat up on an almost daily basis, that's really not my idea of a good time._

_Fine. Then you can worship and love on my body._

_That's more like- wait, no. There will be none of that._

...and to think that _Lucifer_ was considered a bad angel to have on your shoulder. Evil as fuck, yes, but _naughty_ in a way that could get you sent to hell and you'd like it? Nope, that was all Gabriel. 

Putting his phone on silent, Sam sent out a silent plea to Gabriel to leave him alone and let him sleep. 

It wasn't until he was in that in-between stage of sleepiness and consciousness that it dawned on him that the whole time he'd been conversing telepathically with Gabriel. For reasons he didn't care to examine, it didn't even freak him out the way it did when he did anything that wasn't exactly normal. Instead it had the opposite effect. With a smile on his face, he sent out a final _Goodnight, Gabriel_ and then let Morpheus take him. 


	2. is that a keg n ur pants? cos id luv 2 tap dat ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'nother day 'nother worthless dollar.   
> here's more bs

Sam's grunting his way through his morning pull-ups (part of his strict work out because someone has to be able to outrun whatever's coming after them and sometimes Dean's slow ass needs help) when-

"Damn, I was not ready for all that cake."

He's blushing and hating himself through it. He refuses to look at Gabriel because he doesn't have to. He can feel the leer from here. And naturally, Sam's wearing a pair of grey lightweight sweats and is shirtless. If he were ever to show off, now would be the time. He wonders how it'd feel to discombobulate Gabriel and almost gives in to some purposeful peacocking when he remembers that every single time he's played with fire he's gotten burnt to a crisp so instead he reigns it in and exhales loudly. 

"What do you want now, Gabriel?"

"Well, don't stop on my account. Did you know, Sammy, that at 211 degrees water boils but at 212 degrees it gets hot enough to power a steam train? I'm at 211 right now. I want to find out if you can make me power a steam train."

Sam rolls his eyes. "You're an archangel. You can do whatever you want to do and you don't have body heat anyway." He points out flatly. 

"I don't? Want to test that theory? Cause there are parts of me that are very very hot. Want to put your money where your mouth is? Or rather, want to put your mouth on it?" 

Gabriel's such a perv. Luckily, Gabriel is quite possibly the only being in existence that doesn't feel the need to torment humans who (justifiably) tell him Chuck's honest truth.

"You're a perv. No, I'll probably catch some sort of archangel/minor deity STI."

That makes Gabriel laugh. "Minor deity, huh?"

They spend a few more minutes ribbing each other, Sam's tension (that he hadn't even been wholly aware of until he felt it go away) washing away. You'd think that with all the continual bullshit that Gabriel put them through Sam would be wound up tighter than a spring but instead his body betrayed him and completely relaxed. 

"There are other more effective ways to make you relax, you know."

Sam is sitting on the mat now, one knee propped up, where he's focusing on lower body intervals now. He raises his head to look at Gabriel. "Do kindly shut up."

Gabriel grins at him, unapologetic as always. 

"Are you gay, Sammy?"

"Nope."

"Well that was quick. You're either a case of protesting too much, my lady, or you're really not."

"I'm not a damsel in distress and you're not a guy." 

The look on Gabriel's face is classic. Sam's very pleased with himself but then-

"Ah, I see. I offer you all the riches in the world but you turn me down. You don't care that I'm in a male-shaped vessel, you just don't like me."

Sam nods. "Look at you, being smarter than you look." He huffs, having switched up to sit-ups so that he can at least see Gabriel's face sometimes. Gabriel's face always catches his attention because it's a milieu of expressions, coming and going in milliseconds. It's the most expressive face Sam's ever seen and he can't ever tell Gabriel that of course but still he likes to be able to see it. 

Gabriel still hasn't said anything and Sam comments on it. "Why are you so quiet? I'd say I might have hurt your feelings but we both know you don't have any."

Finally he responds. "Of course I do, Samsquatch. Right now I'm watching the sweat roll down your chest and I'm feeling like I would like nothing more than to lick it all the way down to-"

"Gabriel!" Sam's fairly sure he shouted but the imagery was _right here_ and if he got a hard on, Gabriel would never let him live it down. 

Gabriel's face is the epitome of innocent, wide doe eyes, a _who me_ expression on his face that came forth so quickly Sam knows he's used it a million times by now. 

Sam is about to respond to all that when he stiffens. He doesn't know if it's just because he's so acclimated to angels now that he can feel them coming before they ever arrive. 

"Incoming."

"Yeah, I know. I better go."

"What? You don't want to say hi to your big brother?"

Gabriel takes off but Sam still frowns because he's pretty sure Gabriel just said something along the lines of not being in the company of more people who don't like him. 

Why wouldn't Michael like him?


	3. u haf 206 bones n ur body. want another?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my manager went to lunch so i got another chapter in. these r fun.  
> i've been watching sherlock so if any of this gives off british vibes just roll with it, lol. pretend sam kept some from bmol or smth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still haven't decided whether i want this to b a one shot or multi chaptered. and yes, i'm aware that this is chapter 3. i just really like chapters 1 and 3. two is meh, at best and it's kinda ruining it for me.

One of Sam's favourite activities upon waking is stretching. It feels so bloody good for him to just release all the pressure that creeps into his limbs overnight. He's just finished exhaling a pleased groan as his spine cracked in the most pleasant way when he hears "back like I never left". He's got the gun pointed at the intruder before he's taken his next breath. He'd felt the disturbance but thought it was Michael again. He and Adam had left only the previous night, Sam had said bye to them as he shuffled off to sleep, the whiskey finally having gotten the better of him. He'd done a lazy job of getting himself off before half heartedly cleaning himself up and turning over to go to sleep. It wasn't often that he indulged in masturbatory practises but alcohol seemed to get the better of him every time. Either way. 

He eased himself off the bed, glancing over to Gabriel who was openly ogling his ass. 

"You did leave", he hears himself say, voice still sounding gruff from sleep, "for a whole week." He's aware that he sounds a tiny bit accusatory but doesn't know why, it's not like he _missed_ Gabriel so he moves on. 

"I can only assume you've come back now that Michael has left."

That's a question and he knows Gabriel understood it as such when he sighs from somewhere behind him. 

"You just have to kill the mood, don't you Sammy?"

"Anything but Sammy, Gabriel."

"Baby?" 

Sam scrunches up his forehead before turning to him. "Really? That's so unimaginative. It's beneath you, really." He turns back to find a shirt to pull over his head. As is the norm, Gabriel seems to have a penchant for turning up at times where he can find Sam in several different states of undress. 

"I wish I were beneath you." He hears Gabriel mutter and he can't stop the laugh that comes out. 

"Idiot." He says fondly. 

"That's not a no." Gabriel pipes up, sounding absolutely perky now. 

"No." Sam says, elongating the short word in an effort to get his point across. 

"Spoilsport."

"Why don't you go ask Dean? He'd say yes to anything."

"Ewww. Deanie's got Cassie's stench all over him and besides are you trying to get me killed again?"

"Don't say again like you've really died any of the times I thought you had. Cheater. And what? You scared of Cas?"

He's as dressed as he's going to get so he turns to face Gabriel fully. 

Gabriel who's arching one very expressive eyebrow his way, his head tilted up to meet his eyes. 

"Fear is wisdom in the face of danger. Cassie has single-handedly decimated the other three stronger archangels. If he really wanted to he could destroy me. As it is is, I am doing my best to stay firmly under his radar." He says the words dryly but his eyes belie the honesty behind them and it makes Sam's mind whirl at the implication of it all. 

"You're absolutely nutters if you think Cas would ever do anything to you. He's not a tosser." 

"Mmm. Best not risk it."

"Gabriel?" Sam asks, just as Gabriel seems ready to fly away. 

"Mmm?"

"And you think I'd just stand aside and let him harm you?" 

"Wouldn't you? Why would you defend me against Cas, your best friend? Dean's other, better, half. He's practically your brother-in-law." 

"Because best friend or no it doesn't mean that I think he's beyond making mistakes. And, of course I'd defend you. What do you bloody take me for? Cas is Dean's angel but you're-" Sam stops himself suddenly but it's too late, the word _mine_ hangs in the air. Unspoken but understood all the same. 

Gabriel smirks. 

"I knew you loved me."

"I do not. You're obnoxious."

Gabriel laughs and, oh, it truly is like music to Sam's ears. He can't help the small smile that makes his lips curve upward. 

"Off you pop then. Don't want to leave your hookers unoccupied for too long."

Gabriel smiles. It's a genuine smile. Sam can see that right away. He likes it, he decides. 

"Porn stars, Sammeh. They were porn stars. And don't be jealous. Green is not your colour and though you can wield the mjolnir you aren't actually an Avenger and definitely not The Hulk." Trust Gabriel to find something thisclose to "Sammy".

"In comparison to you I am very capable of being a jolly green giant." Sam mutters back, a bit sullenly.

"Do you come with a very long beanstalk then?"

Sam laughs at the ridiculousness of their conversation, their mixing up of all fables and tales just to get their point across. 

"I shoulda known you were a size queen."

"Definitely. And I've got the buns, all I need is the hot dog."

Sam laughs out loud and then kicks Gabriel out. 

Still, the smile doesn't leave his face all day. 


	4. if u were a fruit ud b a fine-apple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boss is in rr. lets c how fast I can type, lol

**_Gabriel to Sammeh, come in Sammeh, breaker breaker_ **

_Wha- wh-it's fucking three in the morning Gabriel. What could you possibly want? Go to sleep for fuck's sake._

**_Oh, come on Sammeh, I'm bored. You used to pull all-nighters, this should be a cinch._ **

Sam groaned but half sat up, blowing wayward strands of his hair out of his face. 

"Alright, I'm up. Show yourself, demon." He demanded. 

Gabriel laughed as he popped in. "Hiya Sammeh."

Sam's staring at the ceiling. Wondering if merely having dared to exist was what brought all these malfeasances down on him. _It's not even my fault,_ he thought, _it's not like I willed myself into existence. Someone else made me._ He stopped as he realized he was trying to make a deal with who? The Universe? Either way, in his line of duty he knew better than to make deals with anything. 

"Sammeh?"

"Please stop," He groaned, "Just stick to Sammy."

"Aw, but Sammeh was starting to grow on me."

"Mm, like the same way a tumour grows on ya, huh?"

Gabriel laughed and shrugged. "Yeah, ok, it wasn't the best."

"What do you want, Gabriel?" Sam asked, dead on. This wasn't their usual banter, Gabriel was there for a specific reason. 

Gabriel leaned against his desk and at first glance it looked like it was supporting his weight but upon closer reflection there was no feasible way for him to be supported like that which let Sam know he was once again using his awesome powers for something stupid. 

"It's not like I'm using them on purpose. They're as accessible to me as moving your limb is to you. They are a part of me."

 _Wonder if you'd make it as a human then,_ Sam thought at him, too tired to engage in conversation, no matter how small or short it was.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." Gabriel said, breaking through the silence. 

_What? Being human?_

"You ok?" He asks, switching to using his vocals. Why would Gabriel be concerned about being human. "You're not losing your powers are you? Because Billie promi-"

Gabriel waves him off. "No worries, Sam. I'm still here, a full archangel at your disposal."

Sam's surprised at the barb but doesn't let it show. 

"What then?"

Gabriel rubs his neck. 

"You know what? Nevermind. It's not important. Sorry for waking you, Sam." 

And with that, he's gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to cut it short, she's coming my way. whomp whomp


	5. wot ken i col u? ken i col u mine?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday, heh. Tuesday is my least favourite day of the week. It's a fkn pointless day. But my boss is in a meeting so...yay!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday was my birthday. It sucked.

Sam goes back to sleep, wakes up properly, goes on his run, drinks his protein shake and finally _finally_ calls Gabriel. 

_Sam to Gabriel, come in, Gabriel._

**_No_**.

He hears it in his head and he smiles at the petulance behind a single word. He can practically see Gabriel, all crossed arms and pouty lips; truculent dark eyes. 

He'd be shit out of luck if he hadn't planned for this scenario.

_I'll take you to the local candy store if you come._

Gabriel is present and accounted for before he's even completed the thought. 

"You're so easy." He teases. 

Gabriel arches a brow and gives him a slow once over. 

"You've no idea."

"Mmm, I think I do." Sam responds coyly, trying to pretend like this whole conversation isn't threatening to beat his heart right out of his chest. He glances down at it, convinced he's going to catch a glimpse of it beating, like that one cartoon case they'd had. Speaking of which...

"Can you talk to cats too?"

Gabriel throws him a sly look. 

"I'm well versed in pussy."

They stare at each other for a beat but Sam breaks first and a small laugh escapes, which inspires one in Gabriel and a few seconds later they're both laughing loudly and with gusto. 

"You're an idiot." 

Gabriel waves him away. "So I've heard. Now about that candy?"

Sam nods, a promise is a promise after all. 

"You want to walk or drive? It's not far."

"We could fly."

"Are you in a hurry?"

Gabriel pauses, contemplating. "We could take the scenic route."

Sam stops putting on his jacket and just stares, his thoughts ranging from _aren't i too heavy_ to _that would be pretty fucking cool_ to _Dean would flip his shit_ and _possibly even Cas._ That helps him make up his mind.

"Ok. Just let me leave a note."

"Already done. I told Cassie."

Angel radio. Handy. 

He takes a deep breath and steps toward Gabriel. "How do we do this? You said scenic so I'm assuming we're not just teleporting from one place to the other. We're actually flying, right?"

"Yep. No worries, Sammy. I won't let you fall."

Then Sam blinks and he misses how it happens. The only thing he feels in that millisecond is a slight jerk. When he opens his eyes again, he's flying. 


	6. if u cud stapph killin me w ur smil that'd b gr8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> realize my thoughts are somewhat discordant in this fic. i'm not following any sort of plot line- just going with the thoughts as i get them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boss is walking out for lunch. yesss.

They'd been flying for an hour, dipping in and out of the clouds, gliding around birds who seemed to be able to see them even though Gabriel said they were hidden to the human eye, and on one occasion had to get out of an airplane's way to avoid collision when Sam finally broached the subject that had been on his mind since they'd left. 

_Gabe?_

He figured out that the tone and hesitance he felt about ruining a nice moment must have seeped through because it took Gabriel a moment to answer and when he did Sam could feel the reluctance with which he did. 

**_Yes?_ **

Sam sighed but pushed on, broadcasting his thoughts towards Gabriel. 

_You left without finishing your question. What'd you come for?_

**_What makes me so special, Sammy?_ **

_Special? What do you mean? To me? Or in general? Cause I'm not giving you an ego boost. Your head is big enough already and you don't need anymore of a reason to do that infuriating 'archangel' catch-all thing you do to avoid explaining yourself."_ Sam finished with a laugh. He felt Gabriel's amusement before he continued. 

**_Oh, Sammy, you sweet talker you, I already know I'm awesome. But no, what I'm referencing is that by your own acknowledgment you don't give in to using your other abilities that are very much there by the_ _way_ ** _,_ **_albeit deeply hidden, so what made you decide to communicate in such manner with me?_ **

Sam wasn't actually sure because Gabriel was right so he went with what he suspected to be true. 

_I think you make me comfortable,_ he admitted, _I usually don't because I've lost control once. I refuse to do it again, but with you, I don't know, I feel like you won't let me fall. I think I have faith in you. Whether it's going to be to my detriment remains to be seen, I suppose._

It's quiet for a moment and then they're swooping, the air blowing Sam's hair back and sending his face into weird contortions. He feels like a dog with its head hanging out the window.

_GABRIEL!_

**_What? You said it yourself, I'm not going to let you fall._ **

_This is not what i meant and you know it._

But then they're there, in the alley next to the candy store and Gabriel is laughing, his head thrown back, the sun streaming through his hair and hair, leaving gold all over the place and Sam wants to scold him but he can't because he looks so happy. Instead he shakes his head, tells Gabriel that's why he can't be trusted, before grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him towards the entrance. 

Gabriel's still laughing as he's being pulled along. 

"Why are you holding my hand so awkwardly? What are you, my dad?"

"Hey, you want to act like a kid, you'll be treated like one."

Gabriel rolls his eyes but doesn't take his hand away and Sam turns his head to hide the umpteenth smile of the day. 

When they enter the store, the guy behind the counter nods at Sam, makes eyes at Gabriel and offers his help. Sam smiles back, all teeth, which makes Gabriel laugh. 

"Down boy. He can't help himself. It's my animal magnetism." 

Sam scoffs. "Right. That's why I feel so inclined to present myself to you, huh?" His tone is snide and normally he keeps the most sarcastic part of himself under lock and key because Dean is a drama queen, Cas won't understand and Jack is too gullible but with Gabriel, he can let it run rampant. Nothing hurts him and more than that he knows Sam's not doing it to hurt him. He laughs at all the right places and it makes Sam feel good. Understood. That's something that his life has always severely lacked. _Must be why he appreciates Gabriel's presence_ , he muses. He doesn't have to be Sam Winchester, hunter and MOL, he can just be Sam. It's more freeing than he'd thought possible. 

Gabriel grins cheekily at him before winking at the employee who on a second glance could actually give Sam a run for his money in the height department. His hair has more blonde than Sam's does and his eyes are blue. He's handsome, Sam grudgingly acknowledges before turning back to Gabriel. 

"He's alright."

Gabriel smirks before turning to the left and making a beeline to the chocolates. There are a lot of samples on display and Gabriel tries them all. He's excited, his eyes are bright and he's...moaning every time he puts a new one in his mouth. Sam's trailing behind him, only trying two pieces and keeping an eye on the employee who's watching Gabriel with interest evident in his eyes. 

The four moan proves to be too much for him to handle and he comes around the counter after grabbing something off the tray behind him. Sam tenses, accustomed to demons always being nearby but the guy barely glances his way, keeping his eyes locked firmly on Gabriel. 

"Here. Try this one." He says, thrusting a piece of what turns out to be a pecan praline, into Gabriel's outstretched arm. 

To Sam's surprise he doesn't moan then, taking only a small bite before turning to him. 

"Want some, Samshine?"

Sam nods and opens his mouth instead of reaching out for it. He sees the mischievous smile spread over Gabriel's face and knows that Gabriel is aware of the game he's playing. 

"Y'all are together?" The attendant asks. 

Sam swallows before answering. He points at Gabriel. "He's like the ocean. You can ride the small waves but the big ones will come and when they do they will inevitably pull you under. The ocean can't be tamed. Neither can he."

"You're saying you can't handle him?" He's smirking now but Sam just smiles, almost patiently, if it weren't for the fact that his eyes scream _idiot_ at the poor guy. 

"No, I'm saying _you_ wouldn't be able to handle him."

Max, if the tag on his shirt is right, gives Sam a once over. It makes Sam feel self conscious the way he often did when he was starting a new school and all he had were the same too old, too tight, too beat up clothing. He doesn't notice that next to him Gabriel stiffens. 

"And _you_ can?"

Sam shakes his head. "No, but I know better than to even try."

"Maybe you're not using a firm enough hand." Max says with a sneer, looking at Gabriel's small body. 

A laugh bubbles out of Sam. The guy is an idiot and with that statement he's put himself directly in Gabriel's line of fire. He knows, without looking, that Gabriel's eyes have probably narrowed and he's reading the douchebag. 

Gabriel either brings the very best out of Sam or the very worst because all of a sudden he wants to _play_ with the guy. He steps to the side and waves a hand towards Gabriel. "Go on then. Take your best shot." 

The guy doesn't waste a split second, probably figuring that his best course of attack is a surprise one. Sam bends over laughing when the guy finds himself on his back not even having laid a touch on Gabriel. The stupid stunned look on his face is priceless and Sam grins mirthlessly over him. 

"Told ya. We're gonna assume these are on your tab and we're leaving." Then he turns to Gabriel. 

"Want a ride? Hop on."

The shop is less than two miles from the bunker. Sam carries a happy Gabriel back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to cut it short. she's back, bye!


	7. i luv my bed but i'd rather b n urs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ionno. more word vomit i guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My manager doesn't come in until 11am on Wednesdays. I'm going to enjoy this.

"What the _hell_ are you doing, Sam?" Dean asks, disbelievingly, as he sees him walk in still carrying Gabriel on his back, one arm loosely over Sam's chest the other holding a chocolate he's munching on (in Sam's ear). 

Gabriel hops off Sam's back and wipes his fingers on the hem of his shirt before addressing Dean. 

"What's wrong Dean-o? Want your own angel to ride your ass?" Sam absolutely does not laugh as Dean splutters but he does roll his eyes. His brother and his angel's lovesick story is getting old. _We should lock them in a room. With truth serum. And possibly a fuck or die curse._ He thinks errantly, completely forgetting that Gabriel is there until he hears him laugh.

"I like the way you think, Sammy."

Sam fixes him with a stern stare. "No." 

"But you're the one who thought it up." Gabriel whines. 

"Oi! Idiots! What the hell is going on here?" Dean interrupts. 

"What's it look like, Dean? We walked home and I gave him a piggy back ride. Obviously." It's rare that he gives Dean attitude but he's already annoyed for the day and he wants nothing more than to just go hang out with Gabriel somewhere. 

Dean gives Sam a hard stare before turning to Gabriel. "You break it you buy it." Sam's about to argue but instead it comes out as a laugh when he sees Gabriel stick his tongue out at Dean. 

Dean just rolls his eyes. "Both of you, seven pm, dress nice. We're having a family dinner." 

Sam looks at Gabriel. "What was all that about?"

Gabriel shrugs, "I don't know but if Michael is here then I can't be."

"How come?"

"He doesn't like me either."

"Stop saying I don't like you, dammit. We all like you. Even Dean,"

Gabriel scoffs. "Please. What's to like?"

"I prefer you when you have a big head. I thought a superiority complex came with being an angel."

Gabriel scuffs his shoe on the ground. "I'm just a guy," he begins softly and sadly, "asking another guy," Sam's already laughing, 

"World's smallest violin. Truly."

Gabriel looks up at him then and seriously how are his eyes always so bright? 

"Why doesn't Michael like you, Gabriel?"

Gabriel sighs before relenting. 

"He found out about my involvement in the Apocalypse. He's mad."

Sam's eyes harden. 

"We'll take care of this tonight. Be here." He says before walking away. He needs to go chat with his brother and angel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's fkn 9:30. she's early. fml


	8. ur body is 70% h2o n im thirsty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank fuck for meetings. she has a four hour one this afternoon that I fully intend to take advantage of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am still unsure where i'm going w this. it's loosely set in S15 which chuck being a dick and midam being out of the cage but idk where i'm supposed to be going with this.  
> i think i wanna pretend that chuck still can't leave earth and it's gabriel's brilliant idea to lock him up in pangaea or maybe atlantis or idk the bermuda triangle. one of those places where the laws of physics have no meaning- oh shit, mystery spot idea. i should stick him in Broward County, lololol

It's nearing dinner time and Sam has made a little effort in his appearance. He hopes Gabriel realizes it's for him, although to be fair, why would he care really? He moves on, both mentally and physically but not before he hears **_knock knock_** in his head. 

He sighs and moves to open his door but he hears it again, more insistently this time and he knows Gabriel wants him to play along. 

_Who's there?_

**_Orange_ **

_Orange who?_ he asks as he opens the door. Gabriel's standing against his doorframe, maroon suit on and a white rose in hand. 

"Orange you glad you opened the door?" He says, smiling widely as he walks in to Sam's room and closes the door behind him.

The room suddenly feels really small. 

"Not really." Sam says stifling a laugh. 

"Your eyes are laughing, Sammy."

Sam points at his outfit. 

"What's with the get-up?"

Gabriel arches a brow at him, his look turning almost predatory as he signals to Sam's own outfit. 

"What's with _your_ get-up?"

Well, Sam's not telling so they just stare trying to out wait the other, 

Stalemate. 

Then there's a knock on the door and it's Dean, bellowing at him to get his ass to the table and he doesn't even realize that he's grabbed Gabriel and is dragging him along until they've entered the room and he feels a pulling at his hand. It's Gabriel, pulling it away. 

Gabriel is using both arms to cross them over his chest and he and Michael are having some sort of stare down. There's a smirk placed firmly on Gabriel's face but Sam is learning that there's more to Gabriel than meets the eye and as lets his eyes roam over the others face he sees the tense lines behind his eyes and it dawns on him with sickening reality that Gabriel is genuinely afraid at that moment. It floors him because it's so incredibly not Gabriel. And it angers him because it's Michael and, sure, they're on good terms right now but he'll be damned if he's going to allow for Gabriel to have to walk on eggshells every time he's around- or worse, continue to leave. 

He exchanges a look at Dean who at first shrugs until he looks pointedly at Cas and then Dean understands and with a sigh, he nods. 

Sam turns to Michael. 

"What the hell is your problem?" and yeah, Dean might be known as the hothead but that's only because Sam works to tamper down who he is. His brother might get riled up easily but Sam gets deadly. He lets all of that seep out through his eyes and posture, his threat made evident. 

Next to him he hears Gabriel's sharp intake of breath. 

**_You can't possibly expect to win against him and I've never been strong enough. He's the oldest._ **

Sam hears him but doesn't respond in kind. He opens his mouth instead, "Yes, he's the oldest. Which means that not only should he know better but he should be kissing your ass right now for having the strength, intelligence and fortitude to do what he couldn't."

"Intelligence?" Michael cuts in, looking for all the world like he'd have already swatted Sam out of existence if Dean wasn't currently training a gun at him full of angel killing bullets, courtesy of Ketch. 

"He interfered with the written word. With destiny."

"And?" Sam retorts, "Aren't you supposed to be on Team Free Will now? Aren't you supposed to be vouching for this hunk of rock and all its inhabitants now? Because it sounds a whole lot like you wish the Apocalypse still happened and, well, we took out all the Team Players last time and they consisted of way more than one measly ass archangel."

"You dare provoke me?"

Sam shakes his head, his anger receding slightly. 

"Only into thinking. You should be grateful and give your brother a hug, be happy and rejoiceful that he's alive, that he has been for all these millennia. You know as well as I do that there is no one in existence that is anything even remotely close to Gabriel. And I, for one, am damn proud of that fact."

Michael stares at him for a long moment and then nods. "Very wel-" He gets cut off by Adam, bright eyes immediately shutting down into something human. 

"Sorry about that. I warned him about doing that but he can be a bit...stubborn."

The group watches as his eyes go unfocused and then hear his "well, you can." Sam looks at Dean and they share a smile. Crazy to think that Michael listens to Adam. 

"Anyway, sorry Gabriel. He is actually very happy you're not dead, for what it's worth. I can feel it."

Adam blurs in front of them and then there's two Adams. One of them is decidedly unhappy and glaring at Adam who shrugs. "Well, you are."

The other Adam, Michael apparently, turns to look at Gabriel again. And Sam. And then he looks down and it's only then that Sam realizes he's holding Gabriel's hand. 

"It's not what you think." He says quickly and without thinking. 

He flinches as he physically _feels_ Gabriel's hurt but then there's nothing he can do because Dean has put his gun down and is demanding everyone sit down before he eats all the damn food himself. Sam forgets to wonder why his hand felt so bereft without Gabriel's in it. 


	9. R u a ki-bord? Cos ure just ma type

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mother has rona so now im in qt w her. tryna look on the bright side. i could b stuck at werk.

Dinner starts off a stilted affair but slowly Gabriel relaxes, although he's still refusing to look at Sam. The former Stanford alumni isn't dumb, he knows Gabriel's interested in pursuing him, there's just so much history and most of it is decidedly not good.

A smile on Dean's face catches his eye and the wheels slowly start turning in his head as he sees that smile directed at Cas. Cas has done some deadly shit too but if Sam's biggest reason for rebuffing Gabriel is that he killed Dean over a hundred times, well, Cas broke his wall and Dean forgave him. At least Dean doesn't even remember dying whereas Sam very much remembers Lucifer, the taunting, the torture, the _face._

He turns and nudges Gabriel who's somewhat sullenly slurping his lemon shrimp pasta. He's pouting and it makes Sam smile. Gabriel doesn't have room to be pouting. He's just a little shit accustomed to getting his way. 

He decides to ignore him while he decides the best way to go about it and instead turns his attention to his brother. Not Dean but Adam. 

It's weird to know that although by human standards Adam is the youngest, by soul (? Hell?) years he's the oldest having spent over a thousand years down there. 

He briefly wonders if he was ever tortured (after he'd gotten out) but decides that if he was as protected by Michael as he remembers then probably not. 

He tries not to be bitter about that. 

"Sorry." Michael says, looking straight at him. Still, it takes Sam a moment to realize he's talking to him. He narrows his eyes. 

Michael shrugs. "You think loudly."

Sam, having been around angels and other beings with mind reading abilities for almost two decades now learned how to protect his mind. It's rare that he leaves it open the way he just did and he glares at Gabriel. It's his fault for being distracting he decides. 

Closing his eyes, he focuses inward and imagines garage doors coming down. Imagines himself on the inside, without any intrusions. 

"Neat trick." Adam says when he reopens his eyes. 

"You can see it too?" 

Adam points at Michael. "Shared grace." 

That peaks Sam's interest and he begins to ask questions while Dean rolls his eyes and mutters something about him being a nerd. 

"Shut up, jerk."

"Bitch."

Almost on cue they turn to look at Adam who looks between them and calls them punks. They share a laugh and move on. 

The dinner ends up being good. Especially when Michael asks Cas what an "assbutt" is anyway. Dean laughs so hard he almost chokes. 

Sam had been deep in Lucifer's mind when that happened, struggling to get out, and Gabriel had been deep in hookers (no pun intended) so it was a new story for them both. 

It's not until Dean, ever the tactful one, asks Adam how _that_ happened (referring to him and Michael) that Sam's mind starts to churn out an idea and he grins as he looks down at Gabriel again, still pushing his damn shrimp around. 

He can't wait. 

Gabriel's never gonna know what hit him. 


	10. im not n2 watchn sunsets but id luv 2 c u go down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna leave this story until I went back to work but I know imma b hella busy and besides I have /ideas/ so you're getting it now. Hope you enjoy!

Sam has to work really hard for the next two days so as not give himself away. It's giving him a headache to have to concentrate on keeping his shields up but it'll be worth it, he thinks. Especially after Gabriel had left, still sullen, the other night after dinner. Sam had let loose a small chuckle which earned him a glare but he still pulled Gabriel into a forced hug that he'd reluctantly relaxed into. However, Sam knew he was still salty because he hadn't heard so much as beep from him since then. Even after Sam went through the effort of changing his text notification tone to the moan that Sherlock's phone does every time Irene Adler text him.

Sam was not a fan of Irene Adler and he was a firm JohnLock shipper. Anyway, the moan tone was as much a prank for Gabriel as it was for Dean. Mostly because he couldn't wait until Cas heard it so that he could ask Dean what that was. 

Sam laughed even as he thought about it. It was going to be the pizza man all over again. Ahh, good times.

Anyway, Sam's done his research is and ready to put everything into action.

That morning he perfoms his morning ablutions and morning work out routine in an almost detached perfunctory manner (something left over from when he went crazy and rigorous at Broward Country which he is absolutely not thinking about other than doing a quick mourn for the muscles he used to have. He used to be seriously jacked) before checking the news for anything fishy (or anything that seems Chuck-like). Finally, knowing he's completed his duties, he's able to put everything away and heads out to the store. He's closing the garage door behind him when he hears, "don't forget the pie!" and seriously, _how_ Dean knows every time he's going to the store, Sam will never know. 

When he reaches the store the first thing he grabs is the fucking pie because he'd forgotten _one_ time in their _entire_ lifetime and Dean _still_ doesn't let him live it down. He's pretty sure it was even before the first Apocalypse. Or maybe it was when they were hunting for the 7 Deadly Sins...which was, wait, had that been before Sam died the first time? No, he has a vague memory of Bobby telling them that they'd escape when Azazel tried to open that one door to hell. Fuck it, he can't remember. Either way, it was a long time ago and Dean's still holding on to it. Like he's never forgotten Sam's salad. Pfft. 

After setting the three different pies in the cart he walks toward the handyman section. He needs super glue, mayonnaise, donuts, a ton of candy (individually wrapped for maximum effect), hair dye and slippery soap (for Dean) and various sigil spray paint cans that had either glitter in them, were neon, or glowed in the dark. For Cas. 

He wasn't sure when he decided to add the other members of his family into his game but he had absolutely no regrets. In fact, he couldn't bloody wait. 

The last thing he got was the cake box and frosting. 

Once he got back to the bunker he handed Dean his pies and then ignored the strange looks on both Dean and Cas's faces. 

"Whatcha doing, Sammy?'

"Cooking." He grunted. Who knew the mixer could be so difficult? How was he supposed to know what setting to have it on?

Luckily, after spraying various parts of the kitchen with cake mix a couple of times, Dean made a distressed noise in the back of his throat and abandoned his pie, opting to help Sam instead. 

Two hours later he was ready. He'd shooed Dean and Cas out under the pretext of "hey Dean, have you been neglecting the Impala? I coulda sworn I saw some streaks on it when I walked in." Dean had practically flown out of the kitchen, stopping only to chastise Sam on calling _Baby_ an "it". "You know her name, Sam! Use it!" Naturally Cas had followed.

Sam smirked and pulled the super glue out of his pocket.


	11. R r pants from space? Coz ur ass b outta dis world.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prank #1  
> 😜

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm waiting n line (im)patiently (and w/o an appt) at Walgreens, getting retested for the old rona so I figured, eh, what the hell, I'll give this whole typing on my fone thing a try. If u c any typos blame autocorrect.
> 
> 10:20pm- am finally home so I'm gonna fix the chapter now. I had to stop earlier cos I have, like, arthritis or some shit in my hands and my fingers were achin' (and not for bacon, teehee) so I had to leave some parts out. anyway.

Sam knows he has to bide his time, he can't do these too close to each other lest his...he can't even bring himself to call them anything else, they're victims through and through. Anyway, before they catch on. 

Closing his eyes, he takes a deep fortifying breath and prays. 

_Oh, archangel Gabriel, the unholiest of archangels, I have cake. Chocolate."_

When he opens his eyes, Gabriel is standing in front of him. 

"Unholiest? Wouldn't that be Lucifer?"

Sam stares for a second, beyond relieved that he showed up, before responding. 

"You're right. I shoulda said hedonistic but I always associate that word with Balthazar for some reason."

Gabriel actually laughs. "That's pretty appropriate, actually. I miss that little hoodlum."

"Yeah. He helped us too, you know. When Cas went all God." 

"Mm. Yet another in the long line." Gabriel doesn't sound accusatory but Sam still feels guilty. He moves on quickly before he can do something like flinch. 

"So! Cake. I'll get you a piece. A _large_ piece", he amends quickly when Gabriel looks like he's about to protest about not getting the whole damn thing. 

"Hey, look a coin!" His heartrate is skyrocketing and he's already trying not to laugh. Gabriel landed directly next to it. 

As nonchalantly as he can, he says "pick it up will ya? I'll get the cake." 

Sam turns then but out of the corner of his eye he sees Gabriel bend down. 

He gets a plate. 

Serves half the cake on it. 

Takes out ice cream.

Serves it next to the cake. 

Gets a glass.

Gets milk. 

Serves it. 

And when he turns it's to Gabriel grunting. 

"Are you ok?"

"Stupid nickel. Looks like it's stuck on something but I don't know what."

"Come on Gabe, put your back into it." He says, all the while chanting _don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh_ at himself. 

"I'm an archangel. If I put my back into it I might mess up your little bunker." Gabriel's hair falls into his face and he swipes it out of the way, frustratingly. 

"What the hell is it even on?"

Sam is pretty sure his face is about to burst, so naturally that's when Cas and Dean walk in. 

"Sammy? You ok? You look like you're about to burst a vein over there."

"Gabriel can't pick up a coin." He explains, trying to explain himself. The best way to tell a lie is to stay as close to the truth as possible. "It's funny."

"Maybe you should let me try." Dean tells Gabriel like he can do better than an _archangel_ and _honestly_ , the gall. Sam lets out a choked sound, cause it's so like Dean Winchester to be that way.

"Sam, do you feel ok?" Cas asks, cocking his head at him. 

That makes Dean and Gabriel look up then and he has to quickly swallow his laugh and try to change his face into something that looks unaffected. 

"Cake?"

It works and pretty soon they're all seated at the table sharing ice cream, cake and milk. 

Still, Dean and Gabriel keep glancing at the coin like they don't understand. 

"Maybe it's cursed." Dean says. 

"I would have felt that." rebuffs Gabriel.

"Maybe your powers are wonky. You couldn't even pick it up."

"mAyBe yoUR POwerS arE wONKy." Gabriel mocks. "Maybe your face is wonky. Ever think of that?" 

Dean stares at him, open mouthed, before shaking his head. "I can't even decide whether I want to laugh at that or just ignore it."

"Whatever, Winchester."

"More cake?" Sam interrupts, because getting Dean and Gabriel mad at each other is _not_ his goal.

The distraction has the intended effect and by the end of their cake interlude, they both go in deeper into the bunker, discussing ways to lift the coin without destroying the floor, although Sam does have to remind Dean that he's not allowed to utilise the bloody flame-thrower. 

Rolling his eyes at the immaturity of those two Sam turns back to the slice of cake he'd only been picking at, ready to throw it away.

Cas is still standing there. 

Unfortunately, Sam had forgotten about Cas and the smirk is already on its way back onto his face. 

"Sam?" 

"Oh! Hmm?"

Cas looks at him pointedly and then walks over to the coin before getting down on the floor and sniffing it. 

"It's glue. It's glued on the floor, Sam."

Sam stands, frozen in place, before smiling at Cas. 

"Whoops?"


	12. iz ur name hw? cos im not doen u but i shud b

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it somehow bugs me when I type out super short chapters but it's an ocd that I'm not willing to succumb to so here I am, fighting my desire to elongate this chapter and posting it anyway. I have another fic where I was posting about 1500 words a chapter and even that hurt bc w the other two I don't post shit until I have at least 10k words but here I am, overachiever. if u didn't understand that ramble, don't feel bad. I barely did either. 
> 
> anyway, enjoy the snippet for what it is. no plot and filler, filler, and more filler.

After appeasing Castiel's innate nature of protecting Dean and promising that he won't do anything that will permanently harm him, which _obviously Cas, he's not a savage!_ Sam basically gets permission from their resident angel to continue. Sam's not sure whether it was his argument that Dean could use a little fun and distraction in his life or his reluctant (Cas hadn't bought the first excuse and Sam had folded under the squinty stare that looked directly into his soul) admittance that this was his way of trying to woo Gabriel that did it but regardless he's been given the go ahead and he fights to keep himself in check when he realizes Cas didn't even think about excluding his inclusion in these activities. 

_See Dean, he's already a Winchester in a all the ways that matter, including but not limited to having zero instinctual sense of survival._

Of course, in all likelihood it's probably because he knows that Dean is going down and Cas will never abandon any ship Dean's on. If Dean's going down, Cas will willingly subject himself to death as well.

Shaking his head to himself, Sam goes to plan his next step. This one will be a little trickier but well worth it. 

First things first, Sam takes a quick detour into Dean's shower, looking around inconspicuously. He does _not_ want to get caught. He'd briefly considered putting the new acquired hair dye into good use but decides to play the long con and put in the slippery soap bar first. Obviously he won't be able to see the prank in action (no matter what those Wincest shippers said, he and Dean might be codependent but not _erotically_ so, thank you very much) but he has no doubt that that Dean's irritation will spill over to breakfast time. 

Sam can't wait. 

Once that's over and done with, Sam goes to do a quick check on Dean and Gabe again, just to ensure that they're occupied and won't be interrupting him any time soon. They're back in the kitchen, with a crowbar, swearing up a storm.

Sam makes a mental note to add that specific super glue into their Impala- excuse him, _Baby's,_ stockpile since it obviously works extremely well before huffing out what he hopes sounds like exasperated laugh. Sharing a(n) (unexpected) conspiratorial look with Cas he heads back to his room to start unwrapping the candy. Still on his walk back to his room it dawns on him that this is the first time he's seen Dean and Gabriel working together instead of against each other and it makes him extremely happy. 


	13. u must b a chicken farmer cos u sure kno how 2 raise a cock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was working on my flick-of-da-wrist movements and I sprained said wrist. what can I say? it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round, amirite?  
> JK. Lil bro challenged me to a push-up contest. If that ever happens to you, just let them bloody win. My fkn wrist gave out and for unknown reasons my damn hip hurts. Bloody old age, I tell ya.   
> I'm suppose to b working on the loml's resume but here I am, updating this instead bc it makes me feel accomplished when I update smth. The fact that it's insignificant obviously does not compute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam has all this loose candy for Gabriel.   
> Gabriel doesn't understand why there seems to be a trickster at their next three cases.   
> Especially since neither he nor Cas can sense anything amiss. Allegedly.  
> Sam's totally not enjoying seeing Gabriel and Dean befuddled.  
> Heh.
> 
> or
> 
> the one where Cas is sneakier than he lets on

The coin is still on the floor when the Winchester's leave for a cut-and-dry haunting that Sam found just a few minutes over six hours away, in Colorado. Sam heard from Cas, who heard from Gabriel, that he and Dean had apparently abandoned ship in favour of some chocolate liquour that had somehow come up in the middle it all. Sam had been momentarily confused until he remembered that Gabriel could be dying and still be thinking about chocolate. 

_"Unless it's pie flavoured I don't give a shit."_ Dean had allegedly said, resulting in Gabriel to majick some up whilst he sipped on his chocolate rum. From there, Dean had mentioned that the combination reminded him of Chopped and had told Gabriel how they had to make dishes out of shit that didn't even go together. Gabriel had never seen it and the two had spent a couple of hours in Dean's bat-cave watching the show. 

And no, Sam was absolutely not jealous. He was absolutely not thinking about how Dean and Gabriel had similar tastes and would probably really enjoy spending even more time together. He was also _not_ repeating _opposites attract_ to himself like a mantra. 

Besides Cas had felt it too. He'd bitched to Sam how Dean didn't do fun shit with him and was he really that boring? _"Dean told me to never change and that I was sensible. Maybe he wants me to change now."_ And that had stopped Sam short because when the fuck had Cas even realized he wanted Dean like that? He'd paused in the middle of unwrapping his candy when Cas had rolled his eyes and told him he knew Sam wasn't stupid, which, ok, true, but still, what the fuck?

"I think I liked it better when you were oblivious." He'd muttered at the unusually sassy angel. 

Cas turned and snapped his fingers at the same time before walking out, leaving Sam to stare in disbelief. 

All the candy he'd just painstakingly unwrapped was now wrapped again. 

Well shit. 

_________________

In any case, the case they were headed to involved Garden of the Gods which tickled Sam's funny bone considering what he was about to do. He'd chosen four hauntings for them to do because a.) it was always better to keep Dean entertained (and tired) or he'd start bitching and b.) they could do a salt-and-burn in their sleep which was his main goal since he had other things to tend to. 

There had recently been a gigantic dust up of wind at the park and after reviewing the facts with Dean, they'd come to the conclusion that most likely they'd uncovered (and by default _disturbed)_ the burial of someone there. The sightings had been in one specific area which meant there was probably something lying around that the spirit had attached itself to since the body of one Rose McCaffrey had already been removed. Once they burned it that would be the end of it. Hopefully Sam had time to get everything in order before Dean found whatever Rose was hanging on to. 

They didn't bother checking in anywhere, just stopped at trucker's petrol station right outside of town and took a quick shower and change before continuing on. 

"Who are you, Dean?"

"Uh, let me see, I just grabbed it."

"I've told you not to do that, dammit. How are you going to look when you have to look at the badge for your own name?"

"Unclench Samantha. If we get thrown in the pokey we'll just have Gabriel come fly us out."

"I thought you didn't like angel air." Sam responded, annoyed that Dean was so bloody chummy with Gabriel after one fucking interaction. He caught Cas's eye in the back and Cas frowned at him. Sam could feel the non-verbalized threat of what would happen to him if Dean and Gabriel got together. 

"I'm sorry I cannot fly you out, Dean."

Dean waved him away. " 's cool, Cas. Wouldn't want you wasting your angel mojo on me anyway."

Sam was about to snap a response but then they were there and it was time for set, camera, action.


	14. iz it hawt n here orrrr iz it just u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My wrist still hurts and I wish I could b at home but I can't cos live w Mother and can't smoke over there bc extremely religious so instead I'm parked at the, well, park and it's almost midnight and have I mentioned my wrist hurts?  
> Also, to add insult to injury I have to pee

Sam's only half listening to Dean as he stomps around complaining about how this ghost interrupted the scheduled movie marathon he had with Cas. 

Sam's too busy trying to be as unsuspecting as possible to care. 

_Cas, please distract my brother._

Sam almost laughs at the simple yet extremely effective method in which Cas does so. He's simply holding eye contact with Dean and, whoa, eye fucking is definitely a thing. 

_Down Bessy,_ he thinks as he watches Dean look thisclose to jumping Cas, before turning away. 

He forces himself to concentrate to minimize the noise. 

Very slowly, so as not to attract attention, he pulls the wrappers out of his pocket...and drops them on the ground. 

Thanks to Cas, it had taken him twice as long to unwrap these and he'd almost thrown some away thinking they looked too rumpled but looking at them now, they look perfect. 

Hopefully he can get this show on the road before the ghost shows. 

He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth. _Here goes nothing._

He purposely steps on them and manages to look startled just as Dean manages to tear himself out of Cas's gaze and turns to look at the unexpected noise. 

"What is it, Sammy?"

"It's Sam, Dean and I think they're...wrappers?"

Dean's already by him. "Yep, definitely wrappers. What the hell is a Trickster doing here? Hey, shortstop, who art back at the bunker, probably rifling through my shit even though I told him to stay out of my room which I am totally going to archdouche proof as soon as I get back, would you please tear yourself away from my magazines and come here for a sec? I think we have some of your family members here."

"You have quite the collection, Deano." Gabriel says, making them jump as he appears behind him. 

"They're collectibles, dick head."

"tHEy'rE COlleCTibLeS." Gabriel mocks, making Sam laugh. 

Dean glares but it's more out of habit than actual anger and Sam trades a look with Cas. He doesn't want them at each others throat but must they really be so damn chummy?

Gabriel steps forward and picks up one of the wrappers, carefully straightening it. "I thought y'all came out here for a haunting?"

"Wha-" He stops short, reading the inside of the wrapper and Sam holds his breath. 

"What the hell?"

"What is it?" Asks Dean, getting closer so he can look. 

"A pick up line?" Gabriel sounds confused. 

"A pick up line?" Dean parrots.

"Yeah, look." He pushes it at Dean who has to squint at it to understand.

"Did da sun cum up or did u just smile at me? Why does it look like a 13 year old wrote it?" He asks, to no one in particular. 

Gabriel takes it back and sniffs it before handing it to Cas. 

"What's that smell like to you?"

Sam watches as Cas takes it and his heart races a bit because Cas is a terrible liar.

"Like Sam."

"Sam? My Sam?" Dean asks immediately, going on alert and looking around like they're gonna see a trickster in a corner somewhere, giggling to themselves. 

Sam rolls his eyes. "Well, I did step on them?" He puts on his best confused face, like he's offering them a possible explanation and dammit, he forgot about the essence thing. 

"But, I'm not actually getting any Trickster vibes off of it." Gabriel counters. 

"Maybe it's Chuck." Sam says because hey, now he can blame God for everything and it could actually be true.

Everyone stiffens and when Gabriel suggests they get outta there and Dean mutters something about the ghost, Sam is able to watch Gabriel do his archangel thing and smite the ghost without them ever seeing it. 

A couple of seconds later, they're "safely" ensconced back at the bunker and Sam shares a wink with Cas. 

It's a wink that unbeknownst to them does not go unnoticed by neither Dean or Gabriel and when they find themselves alone at the top of the stairs they look at each other. 

Dean bites the bullet and speaks first. 

"What the hell are we going to do about that?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh. Oh Sammy, what a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive.


	15. du I haf 2 sign 4 ur package?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> quarantine is over. I go back to work Wednesday. had my first anxiety attack over it yesterday evening. ended up not going to sleep until almost 6am.   
> My husband, (in name only, we've been separated for 2 years next month,) and his boyfriend have covid. I told him to express each other's glands.   
> the lgtb protection law against discrimination in the work force was protected today. that's an actual cause for celebration right there. imagine if we all had to go back into the closet? fml.   
> anyway, that's about all n my life since I last spoke to ya'll (1.5 days ago)  
> PS. Taking summer classes is the best thing ever. Anytime I want Mother to sthu I tell her I have to do homework and type out chapters instead. good times and no regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright I'm shutting up now

Dean and Gabriel stare at each other. Neither of them willing to voice out loud how perturbed they are at possible Samstiel. Without prompting, the name (and memory) floats to Dean's mind and he almost gasps. "What if he was trying to tell me the whole time?" Gabriel glares at him as he receives the memory Dean is shoving at him.

"I didn't even know you were aware of your crush on my brother."

"Crush?! You call this a crush? I love the stupid angel, dammit."

They're hissing at each other so intensely they don't even notice when Sam approaches them. 

"Uh, guys?"

"What?" They snap, in unison, turning around to face him.

He looks taken aback for a moment before holding his laptop out to them like some sort of tribute.

"Case?"

"Case?" asks Gabriel dumbly. Can't Sam see what-

"Yes, a case. You know, our _job._ Saving people, hunting things, family business. Don't look at me like that, Dean's the one that came up with that. Just like Team Free Will..which you constantly complain about." Sam snarks. He can see he interrupted him and he's having to swallow around the unexpected lump in his throat. 

"Sammy? You alright?" 

"What happened to no chick flick moments, Dean?" He snaps, sounding for all the world like a petulant child. He turns around before Dean can say anything. 

Dean watches him go with narrowed eyes before turning to Gabriel. 

"Something is going on. Maybe you should just read his mind and find out."

"What? No! I'm not doing that. Come on, lets go on this case and see if we can't figure it out."

"Picky picky. It would just be one little poke." He grumbles under his breath as he follows Gabriel back out.

"I'll show _you_ poking if you keep that up." Gabriel responds as they join the other two. 

Sam and Cas are wearing identical faces of upset. 

_maybe we interrupted?_ he thinks tentatively at Gabriel.

_**I don't have the slightest. They have damn good poker faces.** _

_I know right?! If Cas wasn't such a lousy liar I'd have taught him how to play by now._

Dean and Gabriel smile at each other. "He sucks at telling jokes too. Always gives the ending away." He tells Gabriel laughing. 

Cas walks up to him and looks him dead in the eye. "Dean Winchester are you talking about me?"

Dean straightens up real quick, tongue poking out to rehydrate his suddenly dry lips. "No, sir." 

Cas arches a brow and, wow, his whole face is right there. If Dean could be as suave with Cas as he is with the lady's he'd have had him in his bed long ago. Instead he turns into a bumbling idiot. 

"Oof! The UST is killing me." Gabriel whispers at Sam who looks at him in surprise.

"You're not...mad?"

"Mad? Why would I be mad? Of course I'll have to give Deano the old big brother spiel but no, it's about time, wouldn't you say?"

He thinks off something else then. 

"Wait, are you mad?"

Sam looks at him, perplexed, "Mad? No, why would I be mad? I'll have to give Dean a warning of my own of course but no, like you said, it's about time."

"Sooo," Sam continues, drawing out his syllables, "do you mean to say you mean you and Dean aren't...?"

"Aren't what?"

There's an interesting blush creeping up on Sam's neck now and Gabriel turns to look at his brother and Deano thinking maybe they're almost done with the deed and he and Sam have been accidental voyeurs but nope, they're still just staring. Then again, that _is_ basically synonymous for fucking where they're concerned. 

He turns back to Sam. 

"You alright?"

"Yeah. yeah! Just, um, got a little hot. Lets, uh, lets get this road on the show."

Gabriel stares. 

"I thought you were supposed to be the articulate one. Cat got your tongue, much? Is watching Cassie and Deano in the burgeoning stages of a smooch...bothering you?"

"What? No! I just-what? Nevermind. Lets go already."

Gabriel shrugs and sends a shrill whistle Cassie and Deano's way, laughing to himself as they jump. 

Too easy. They are too easy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idefknk at this point.
> 
> updated the tags to include misunderstandings, lol. cos they're all oblivious idiots.


	16. Twas feeling v off 2day but u turn me on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meh

Sam's spirits have been lifted. He seriously thought he'd have to step aside for his brother. And he would have done it too because Dean deserved all the happiness in the world but damn if Sam isn't relieved. 

In hindsight he doesn't know how he even forgot about Dean's hard-on for Cas. He could just slap himself right now. 

Luckily, all is well in the world (barring Chuck of course) and Sam can continue on with his plans. 

Last time he had left three dirty pick up lines for Gabriel and watching him read them later was funny as hell, but Sam didn't just want to sleep with him and bounce, he wanted Gabriel for ever. So with that in mind, he sifted carefully through his options before making up his mind. 

It was his own little joke at Gabriel to write them in such a confusing manner. Maybe he wanted to show him that he could be fun too, he wasn't sure, either way, he was having fun right now. He only hoped that looking back Gabriel would realize that he'd been having fun too. 

Candy wrappers chosen and packed, Sam made his way back to the A-Team, who was bickering over what movie to watch. Well, Dean and Gabriel were bickering. Adam was watching with a bemused smile on his face and it seemed that Michael had copied himself (Adam?) again and was currently in a staring contest with Cas. Sam might have been concerned but it was Cas. He was more concerned when it was regarding Gabriel because Cas was the equivalent to a dog with a bone to pick whereas his Gabe was the equivalent of a corgi....or a Jack Russell. Absolutely defenseless. 

He maaaaay be looking at him through rose coloured lenses but that was his prerogative, dammit. 

He went and flopped himself down next to Gabe who looked surprised but pleased by his close proximity. 

"What are y'all arguing about now?" 

"We're not arguing, Sammy, we're discussing which Indiana Jones was the best." Dean said airly.

Sam looked at Gabriel. "Let me guess, Dean is stating his case for all of them?" 

Gabriel nodded, before throwing a popcorn up in the air and opening his mouth to catch it. 

"He just likes Harrison Ford, that's why he's choosing them all."

"Nuh-uh!" Dean protested.

Sam rolled his eyes. 

"You have all the maturity of a 13 year old, Dean."

"Speaking of 13 year olds, what was up with those wrappers today?" Sam couldn't resist bringing up. 

"What wrappers?" Adam asked. 

Over the next few minutes they tell the other angelic duo the haps since they hadn't been there.

"Why didn't you call me? I coulda helped." Michael says, sounding for all the world a little hurt, which, what? Sam and Dean glance at each other in surprise. 

"Um", Sam says, eloquently. 

"What-what he said." Dean says quickly. 

Sam whips his head around to him again. 

"You're the _older_ brother, Dean, you jerk. Way to throw me under the bus."

Dean shrugged, unapologetically. 

"We'll call you next time, ok?" Sam ends up telling Michael. "We just haven't quite gotten used to you being around yet."

Michael nods and Sam releases the breath he'd been holding in. 

Inwardly he's groaning and he sneaks a peak at Cas who's looking at him, probably wondering what they're gonna do. "I stepped on them." is definitely not going to work twice. 

Cas shoulder does a minor twitch and Sam rolls his eyes at him. Yeah, he aware of their predicament and no, he doesn't know how to get around it either.

"What are you guys talking about?" Dean asks, suspiciously, making Sam jump. 

"Mm?" 

"Don't mm me, you know what, what are you and Cas talking about?" 

"Fuck, Dean. None of your damn business." Sam's a little irritated. Not at his brother, per se, but at the unexpected complications.

"Fine, whatever, have your secrets then, see if I care."

There's quiet for a moment and then Michael speaks up. 

"There's a table with four legs, one grandmother, two mother's, two daughters and one granddaughter. How many legs are under the table?" 

Everyone looks at him in surprise because what the fuck?

Well, everyone but Adam who has the most besotted look on his face. 

"What? Are you telling us a fucking riddle?" Gabriel finally asks, disbelief covering his entire tone.

Michael looks a little sheepish before pointing at Adam.

"When we were first getting to know one another, sometimes pretending to be insane in front of Lucifer was hard. Adam distracted me by telling me riddles. That was the first one he ever told me." 

"So you weren't actually insane?" Sam asks at the same time that Dean says, "he said u were rocking to yourself singing showtunes." 

"Of course not, I wasn't in there long enough to become insane and I had company." He tells Sam before addressing Dean, "where else would I have learned showtunes were it not for Adam?"

Dean looks at Sam. "Shit, he's right. We didn't even think about that."

Sam looks at Adam. "We're sorry, really."

"'S 'kay, Michael's not bad company."

Michael smiles. "I'm glad you think so, beloved. Truly, I appreciate that glowing endorsement." He continues, his tone turning dry. 

Everyone laughs. They're not accustomed to Michael being so relaxed. It's nice. 

Sam could get used to this, he thinks. Somewhere in their conversation, his arm came to lie around Gabriel's shoulders and he'd pulled him in. His body is warm and cuddly. 

Yep. Definitely could get used to it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This came out softer than I intended. Bah!


	17. r u an elevator? cos id go ↑ or ↓ on u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could show you guys the picture of Mother rn. She's standing at the window threatening her plants with drowning or chopping unless they bloom prettily. She has never watched Good Omens and she's somehow channeling Crowley, lol. 
> 
> Oh! Good news, my manager was pissed af but through no fault of my own my time off has been extended until next week due to paperwork errors. Halle-fkn-luya.

"Sam!" 

"Sammy!"

"Wake up dammit!"

"How are you this asleep? I thought all you hunters slept with one, or in Deano's case, both eyes opened."

His voice finally infiltrated Sam's mind and he batted Gabriel's hand away from his face sleepily. "'o 'way."

"No. Come on! Lets go."

Sam felt a disturbance and in a flash had grabbed Gabriel and shoved him partially behind him whilst pulling his angel blade out, heart racing madly. 

"I believe he- wait, why are you armed? Are you ok? What's happening?" Michael asked, immediately going on alert, blade sliding into his hand. 

Before Sam could respond, his door crashed open and Cas stumbled in, rumpled and with his hair sticking up on all sides, his tie askew. "Sam! What's-what's going on here?" He asked, looking around. 

Sam pinched his nose and held his finger up, indicating that all party's should wait. Sure enough, Dean came barreling through the door behind Cas, pushing him forward and he landed face down on Sam's bed. Dean had apparently fallen asleep with a face mask on and combined with the halfway open dead man's robe and his favoured katana- it was too much. Sam started laughing. Loudly. 

It got even worse when Cas straightened and Gabriel grumbled about how he'd landed on a wing. 

"Sammy?" Dean asked nervously, glaring at all the other angels in the room. 

"Don't look at me." said Michael. "I just came to get the tea."

"What tea?" asked Cas which had Sam nearly in hysterics because why did Michael- forget it. How was this his life?

"Three fucking angels in my bedroom and we're", Sam said, pointing at himself and Adam, "older than all of humanity. Just- what?"

Dean pondered on that for a minute. "Wait, does that mean I'm the baby of the family?"

Sam nodded enthusiastically. "Technically, yeah, actually."

"As interesting as all this is," Gabriel said, in his best I'm-lying-through-my-fucking-teeth tone, "and really, it truly it is, I love knowing that these two are what humanity has to offer as its champions, what the hell is everyone else doing here?"

Michael shrugged. "I felt you here, we weren't doing anything. Just popped in to get the tea."

"What tea?" Gabriel asked. Making Sam and Adam laughed. 

"It's, um, slang." Adam said. "He mayyy have picked it up from me.'

Gabriel facepalmed. "Michael, the archangel, first born and most revered, Heaven's deadliest weapon, the fucking _Sword,_ for someone's sake, is walking around using slang. And no one else would ever understand how bizarre that is but Lucifer and he's not even around." The room stayed silent as Gabriel's tone went from jovial and joking to morose and somber. 

Cas reached out and touched his brother. 

"I can be Lucifer, brother. I said yes to him before and got to know him somewhat while I was in my head space."

Sam tried not to shudder at the unintended double éntendre. 

Michael and Gabriel felt his disgust however and just glanced at each other before Gabriel turned to Cas. "I would never want you to be someone you aren't, little fledgling." 

Cas bristled. "I'm not little."

The humans tried not to laugh but Dean coughed and Cas turned a glare on him. "Is there something you wish to voice, Dean?"

"No sir." Dean squeaked immediately turning red. Sam held back his laughter but Adam didn't know to protect Dean's sensibilities and he just laughed. As Sam watched him, he decided that he probably did know, he just didn't care. 

When Dean turned his glare on him, Adam shrugged. "Older brother perks."

Michael laughed. 

"So _anyway,"_ Gabriel said loudly, "I came to take Sam to see the lights and now it's too late. Thanks guys."

"What lights?" Sam asked. 

"Aurora Borealis." 

"At four in the morning?"

"Well, prime time is 1am but we're 3 hours ahead of Greenland sooo, yes?"

"Wow." Sam was a little wide-eyed. "That's, uh, wow. We were going to go to Greenland. I've been to Scotland." He tells no one in particular. 

"You broke him. Figure something out." Dean says to Gabriel impatiently before his brother starts foaming at the mouth. 

"Just go back an hour." Michael suggests. 

"No. No time travel." Dean says firmly. Unfortunately, Sam catches that because his glazed over face gasps at the possibilities. 

"Oh Chuck." Dean says, running his hand over his face. There's no way he can say no to Sammy now. That kid has stayed in the country because of _his_ fear of flying. He wasn't enough of a douche to deny him this. 

"Fine. Just come back quickly please," he pleads to Gabriel. He doesn't like knowing he'll be existing in a time where Sam isn't.

His fear is palpable and strong enough that his thought gets broadcasted even to Adam. 

"Damn." Gabriel says looking at Cas and then Michael. 

"Deano." Gabriel starts. 

Dean looks up. "What?"

"You know you can come, right?"

"What? No, I'm not going to interrupt y'alls date like some sort of third wheel. We're weird but not that weird, geez."

"Michael's coming." 

"He is?"

"I am?"

Gabriel rolls his eyes. "You might as well. You've already crashed the party."

"Well, how do we do this? Who's taking me and Cas?"

Gabriel laughs. "Cassie can take you and him just fine."

"Nope. I don't want him losing any of his mojo."

"He's really not. Time travel isn't extensive for him unless he's going back decades. An hour is barely a blip, it's only slightly harder than him taking you to space right now." Michael confirms. 

"He can take me to space?"

Cas sighs. "I've tried to tell you, Dean. I'm not nearly as useless as you think I am."

"Wait- I don't-"

"Guy's, time is literally ticking. Can we go?" Gabriel interrupts.

"Fine. But we're talking about this later." Dean says, poking Cas in the chest. 

Sam's very excited. He can barely contain himself.

"Hey Gabe? Can we take the long way again?"

"To Greenland? And through time and space? Sure, Sammich, why not?" Gabriel laughed, showing off by picking Sam up unceremoniously and throwing him over onto his back like he didn't weigh more than the coin that was currently _still_ stuck on the floor. 

Dean gapes. and then squawks when Cas does the same thing to him. 

"You're _this_ strong?" he can't help but ask. Cas snorts. "I moved the anvil for you that time, remember?"

Michael looks at Adam. "What do you think? Do you also want to be a damsel in distress?"

Adam snorts before moving faster than Dean had thought him capable and throwing Michael over _his_ shoulder. Michael laughs the whole way up and as he rights himself. 

"Can I borrow your wings?" Adam asks, looking sideways at him.

"Of course, but the time travel I'll have to do because you've not done that yet. I don't want us to end up 3000 years from now or something."

"That was one time and you've never let it go." Adam says, blushing like crazy. 

The other two couples watch as Heaven's Most Revered throws Adam the softest smile before saying, "it's ok, _ol_ _monons._ Now come on, beam us up, Scotty."

And then they're gone, the three brother's on top of their angel's wings, holding on for dear life (except for Adam) as they fly through back to 1am in Greenland. All because Gabriel wanted to show Sam the Northern Lights. 

_

They're seated somewhere and have nothing but snacks that Gabriel, of course, conjured up. None of them are cold or wet despite the elements. 

_being around angels is literally where the laws of physics do not apply,_ Sam thinks ruefully. He thinks about Mystery Spot for a moment and then turns to look at Gabriel, who's in the middle of discussing (read: arguing) with Michael who created the Auroras. He likes the way they slip from one tongue to another, English to Enochian, a little Latin, a little Greek.

Sam's been around lore long enough to recognize each these. 

Sam's also studied Enochian for over a decade now and if he were technically still alive, he'd make a killing at translating old rolls that still pop up around the world from time to time. But that's neither here nor there.

He clears his throat. 

"Hey Gabe?"

"Yes, Samshine?"

_"Olani hoath ol"._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reread the whole thing and realized no one ever snapped Dean's face mask off. He's currently in Greenland, sitting somewhere, with avocado spread all over his mug.  
> Just letting you know...yk, for posterity


	18. out of all ur § ur ☻ is my favourite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> y'all remember how I was so happy yesterday about not having to go to work? well, it all go situated today and I am expected to go in tomorrow. Am trying to be happy that a.) I got 20 glorious days off work and b.) that tomorrow it's a four hr work day but still, yk, if they coulda pushed it until Monday I would have been off for 23 continuous day. fkn bomb. ah, well. c'est la vie, right? 
> 
> on the plus side, tomorrow I will be back to verboten chapters sooo, who doesn't like the thrill?

The next day Sam and co leave on their second ghost haunting. They promise to call Michael (and by extension, Adam and whoa is that weird, lol) to come save them if things get outta hand. Not that anything got outta hand the first time but no one but him and Cas know that...and now Sam feels a little guilty. Oops? 

It's too late to back out now or maybe not but hearing Dean complain about his blasted soap for the third day in a row revs Sam up and he's excited. 

"I swear something must be wrong with my hands. Maybe they're cursed."

Cas throws a sharp glare Sam's way and he rolls his eyes before sending Cas a mental picture of the soap and how it works. 

"Why are you thinking about soap so loudly?" Michael asks, walking in with a curious look on his face.

"Because it keeps slipping!" Dean says, frustrated. 

"I was actually talking to- ok." Michael trails off, as Dean storms out. Sam is relieved, of course, and he just sorta shrugs at Michael who gives him Castiel's patented humans-are-weird face. 

Gabriel flies in then, giving Sam an uncharacteristically shy look that Sam can't decide whether he likes or not. Gabriel doesn't believe him is the problem. He'd declared his love for Gabriel the previous night and Gabriel didn't believe him. He hadn't expressed it verbally but his face certainly had. It might have hurt if Sam didn't understand where the cynicism and doubt were coming from. Kinda hard to believe someone loves you when your own dad doesn't. 

Come to think of it, that's probably Dean's problem too. The thought is sobering and Sam makes a mental note to pass the info along to Cas. 

Finally they're on their way. This time they're headed to Denton, TX. It's almost 8 hours away which is a little further away than Sam wanted but he chose it to force himself to slow down. He's getting too anxious. 

He wants to continue to woo Gabriel. He wants to make him _believe._

The drive there is long of course. When Dean makes dinner out of questionable fare found at a petrol station, Sam is glad he had the forethought to bring his own damn food and he pulls out his Tupperware, stopping only to glare at Dean when he makes fun of him for having it. Still, the jokes on him because Sam's having the last burger Dean had cooked for them. Sure, his is a black bean burger but still knowing he made it is probably killing Dean. Sam smiles. It's the little things. 

Sure enough, as he bites into it he purposely lets out a moan and Dean grumbles about how he betrayed himself and tells Sam to stop making out with his burger, shut up, and eat it. 

Sam could glare, he really could but it would yank Dean's chain more if he laughed so he does. 

After he's eaten his avocado (with a spoon and salt because it's good like that, ok? don't judge him, you don't know his life) Dean surprises him by asking him to drive. 

"You ok?" He asks, seriously, because the last time Dean offered that, Jess had just _died_ and they were saving a trio of siblings from a wendigo. 

Dean waves him off and it's not until he sees Dean smile at Sam's unattended lunch bag that he gets it. 

"Don't you dare. Leave my damn food alone. _Deeeeaaannnn!!!"_

Dean laughs. 

"You snooze, you lose, Sammy."

"I hate you."

"I hate you too, bitch."

"Jerk."

They drive on in silence (well, Sam's silent, Dean's making pornographic noises while he feasts on Sam's food, the bastard) until two hours later, Sam looks over and his brother is asleep, mouth slightly open. 

Sam loves his brother. They've weathered so much together and right now it's like he can see how happy Dean's soul is. Even though, the others are joining them later, right now it's just them two and it's been a while since his brother and he got to just do this. The world is always fucking dying, Dean's always getting upset, he's always some form of traumatized but not right then. Right then it's just the two of them, 22 and 26 years old, joshing with each other, laughing, relaxed. His brother is asleep and he looks happy and young, the creases that sometimes seem a permanent fixture across his brow have been wiped and he's Dean. _Just_ Dean. 

Carefully, Sam snaps a picture of him. He saves one for himself of Dean in the worst possible angle ever and then a good one, where the sun is hitting him just right and all you see is tanned skin, long lashes, and prominent freckles. He sends that one to Cas. 

Even more carefully, he retrieves the spoon out of his discarded bag, cleans it as well as he can, and well, if there are still a few germs on it, it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Slowly, so he won't wake him, he places the spoon just inside Dean's mouth, a prank that Dean had done to him seemingly eons ago. It may have taken him a while but he figures turnabout is still fair play. Everyone knows revenge is a dish best served cold and in his case it's been almost two decades. He's overdue. 

He opens up his camera and switches it to his video feature and pulls the car to a stop, thanking _someone,_ that they're on a long stretch of empty road and no one is behind. 

Before the lack of movement wakes Dean up, Sam punches the volume up on the Jimi Hendrix cassette tape they're listening to and is able to fully capture his brother jolting awake with a spoon in his mouth. 

Sam is almost on top of Dean, he's laughing so hard. Dean slaps the spoon out of his hand, "what the hell, Sam!?" he has to yell over _Let The Good Times Roll._

Sam turns it down, smiling widely at Dean before turning his phone around so Dean can see. 

"Payback, jerk."

"Payback? When-That was, like, 16 years ago, Sam!" 

But Sam pushes his hair out of his way and grins at his brother and Dean can't help but smile at his little brother. 

"You suck."

Sam laughs before stepping on the pedal again. 

"You're just mad cos I beat you."

Dean snorts. "16 fucking years, Sam. You've hardly 'beat' me."

Sam shrugs and Dean looks at him carefully. 

"You sure you wanna go there, Sam?"

Sam looks at him, a glint in his eye that on anyone else would only be described as dangerous but Dean knows his brother is just a big ol' puppy.

"I'm not scared."

Dean laughs. 

"That's what I'd expect someone who is scared to say."

"Bite me, jerk."

Dean pats his brother on the shoulder in a woe-is-you way.

"Oh, Sammy, you're not gonna know what hit you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I work for a bank as banker. Lobby is still closed cos of covid and our dress code requirements have been reduced to wear-whatever-tf-you-want and I lived leggings even before but I've recently taken up harem pants (bc talk about ultimate comfort) and dk if that's a little too comfy. thoughts?


	19. kno wuts on the menu? me-n-u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> woke up inexplicably pissed today. well, it's actually v 'splicable but I'm not thinking about it bc then i'll go from raging to woe-is-me and that's just /ick/.  
> i fell in love w/ some1 who isn't even remotely interested in me. not even in a i-like-you-but-only-as-a-friend type of way- which i'm sure they'd wholeheartedly disagree with but actions still speak louder than words and theirs /scream/ that they don't give af, so. 
> 
> manager is at lunch so here you go.

Dean was right. The bastard. It's only been the culmination of a day and Sam's ready to pull out his own fucking hair, forget the Nair. 

Dean didn't pull the Nair trick again but he's done some research obviously and he's gotten Sam good. Twice.

The first one came in the form of balloons of all things. Sam had pushed the door open, freshly showered when there was a fucking gunshot (seriously, he almost died) from somewhere to the right of his head. He was so startled that afterwards he had to go back in the shower cos he was pretty sure he'd pee'd himself a little. 

(Later, he'd reflect on the fact that even though he's a seasoned hunter, the reason he'd genuinely freaked out is because in a hotel room he let his guard down because Dean would have to be dead before letting any harm come to him, so yeah, he'd practically gone into shock at the very loud sound- and the fact that it was _Dean_ who caused it, well it _rankled,_ dammit.)

Anyway, he stands there, frozen for the few seconds it takes for his brain to register that his brother is laughing so hard the only sounds coming out of his mouth is a combination of squeaks and hiccups. 

"Wha-?"

Dean still can't talk, holding up his phone in one hand, recording presumably, and just points to the space behind the door. 

Sam takes a wobbly step forward the adrenaline still coursing through his system making his body unsteady and half closes the door behind him. 

There he sees it. Or them, rather. 

The purple, blue and pink shredded remains of what he figures out are balloons once he reaches out to touch them. Dean had taped them behind the bathroom door and then had taped one of their weapons, the one that Negan, from The Walking Dead, favoured, against the wall. When Sam had opened the door, the spikes busted the balloons. 

He stared, furiously tamping down the fact that he was secretly officially impressed, before turning back to scowl at Dean. 

"You shoulda seen your face. It was a fucking hoot."

"Your face is _always_ a hoot." Sam had muttered angrily but with no real heat in his voice. It felt good to see Dean laugh like that. It had been too long. 

"You looked like you'd just seen a clown." Dean continued, smiling wickedly. Sam paled. 

"We should probably establish rules."

Dean shook his head. "Nope. Shoulda thought about that before you started. Everything is fair game now."

Sam started to refute that but then-

He cocked his head. 

"You sure about that, Dean?"

His brother stopped smiling, looking at him a little warily but understanding that if he backed out now he'd look like a chicken. So he set his jaw and nodded, eyes narrowed. 

"Bring it, Sammy."

Sam had smiled. The Impala, _Baby,_ would never see him coming. 

_

The second prank had been done with as much gusto and flourish as the first even if it was almost worse than the first one. In Sam's very knowledgeable experience anyway. 

He'd gone to grab himself a coke zero from the vending machine before he sat down to eat his salad and lookover the notes for their shindig that evening but upon reentry into the room, he saw a tilted cup on his computer and could hear Dean swearing in the bathroom. "Rag, rag, rag, where's a fucking rag?"

Sam went from 0-60 so fucking fast he saw stars. 

"What the fuck, Dean!" He bellowed. He'd told Dean not to drink over his fucking computer, _knowing,_ that if this was to happen to anyone it would be his careless ass of a brother. 

"You're so fucking careless," he hissed at a shamefaced Dean who came out of the restroom. 

"All of my shit was on there, Dean. What were you even doing on my laptop? You have your own!"

Then Dean looked up and had the fucking gall to wink at him. 

That stopped Sam short and he shut his mouth before he said anything regrettable to Dean, choosing instead to fully assess the situation. He took a deep breath and took a closer look at his computer, where the coffee liquid was still laying atop his keys instead of seeping through it. Huh. 

He poked his finger at it and it was solid. 

He lifted it and it came up with the cup. 

He turned to look at Dean who was recording him again. 

"You're a little shit, you know that?"

That did it. Dean started laughing again. 

"You're an ass. When have I ever even fucked with your computer to begin with, bitch?"

Sam crossed his arms. 

"When we met Gabriel. You froze my computer screen on Busty Asian Beauties, jerk."

"That wasn't even me! That was Gabriel!"

Sam waved him off with one hand while wriggling the prop with the other. 

"Where'd you even get this?"

Dean grinned unapologetically. 

"Gabriel. Duh."

Gabriel. Duh.

Sam was about to protest before remembering their rule of no rules. Dammit. 

"Alright then," he finally conceded, giving his brother his own award winning wicked grin, "this just upped the ante."

"Hey, wait. It was my idea, he just helped me with the prop."

Sam shrugged, uncaring.

"Treat it like Fight Club. The only rule is that there are no rules."

He smirked triumphantly when the smile on Dean's face fell off. 

Oh yeah, this was gonna be good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seems that this story has decided that it needs more popcorn so voilà, prank war.  
> ideas came from that one dude on tik tok. he's hilarious.


	20. r u a bank loan? cos u haf my interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my boss has fucked off somewhere. she likes to pretend to have meetings w/ clients on mornings when she doesn't want to come in. like we would care if she decided to stay home all damn day. no, jan, we dgaf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 10:30pm and I'm finally fucking home. we had call night tonight bc we don't bother clients enough during the day we have to stay an hour later to bother them while they're trying to have dinner too. fkn stupid bullshit.   
> anyway, it's Mother's birthday so we took her to a hibachi grill. she loved it, which, yk was the point. 
> 
> now I'm sitting comfortably on the couch, Mother is watching Mom, lil bro is asleep (he goes in at 4am) and I have my headphones on. good times.   
> I get to finally fix this damn chapter.

They have to put a hold on their pranking because it's time to deal with the ghost. 

This one will be a particularly difficult ghost but considering that they're up against Chuck and He's not going to let them die unless it's by each other's hand, Sam isn't too worried about it. As he watches the scenery go by, he ponders on them making it to old age and then both taking the plunge at the same time, if only to spite Chuck, a lá Hunger Games. Imagine them living to old age. Talk about Chuck cutting off his nose to spite his face. Idiot. 

In Egypt, there's a haunted desert, the Farafra. Amenhotep IV, the pharaoh, had abolished all of the deities way back when and the faithful priests of said deities cursed him to walk the Earth forever, but specifically the desert. Last month there had been a break in at the museum that was there present-day and now Sam had caught wind of the pharaoh disturbing the peace in Texas. The African-American museum there was doing a compare and contrast sort of thing between old rulers of various countries. If Sam were a real detective he'd have pursued the line of questioning that followed whomever had allowed this obviously lifted piece in. Even though later rulers had attempted to wipe Amenhotep from their history, the fact that they had made anything of his now very valuable, no such thing as bad publicity after all. If Egypt found out this museum had it on display, they'd probably raise a big ass stink about it. And America's President wasn't humble (or intelligent) enough to know when to admit fault. Yep, the sooner they took care of this the better. 

They arrived at the small museum and staked it. There was only one guard. Nodding silently to each other they exited the car. Sam lightly padded his jacket pocket and smiled internally, excited about putting them to good use. He'd found a small spell to bewitch them and erase all smells so that wouldn't be an issue this time. He walked quietly around the building towards the back entrance while Dean dispatched the guard. As he walked it came to mind that Dean and he had gone from hating witches to not being able to deny (well, Dean would but he'd know better) that Sam basically was one. He had Rowena to thank for that. He still couldn't get past the fact that her own apartment had been set up to only allow him entry. It was mind-boggling considering how many times they'd attempted to screw each other over.

Like Crowley.

He closed the door behind him gently so it wouldn't latch and Dean could get in and stood for a second, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the lack of light. He couldn't help but wonder if Crowley death had been Chuck's fault too. He found that he almost preferred that it had been, that was preferable to Crowley being so sick of them he'd opted for death. 

Sam startled as Dean stepped in behind him and bumped into him. 

"What the hell, Sam?" 

"Sorry!" He hissed whispered back, quickly moving forward. Dammit, he should have been finding a spot for Dean to find the wrappers instead of lolly-gagging. Oh well. 

Not even five minutes later, it was done for him as the ghost picked him up and held him upside down, effectively making the wrappers fall from his pocket. Dean was somewhere, knocked out, across the room. Sam rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as the glared at the ghost. Asshole. 

_Gabe? Cas? Michael? Fucker is stronger than we anticipated and Dean hit his head. Will one of y'all come check on him?_

Amenhotep, apparently annoyed at his lack of fear, shook him before flinging him across the room where Dean laid prostate. Dammit, this was going to hurt. 

Sam had the _oof_ all ready to exit his lips when he was caught by a pair of strong arms. Instinct told him it was Gabriel. 

Knowing how easily Gabe could hold him and no longer particularly concerned about the ghost (or Dean since Cas had arrived) Sam squirmed until he was face to face with an amused Gabriel. 

"Hiya."

"Hey yourself, beanstalk. What are you doing getting thrown around by Khanaten? I thought you said this was another routine hunt."

"I thought his name was Amenhotep? You knew him?"

"Meh, he went by a lot of names but yes you could say that."

"Figures." Sam rolled his eyes before leaning down to kiss Gabriel on the eyebrow. Said eyebrow raised quizzically. "You alright, Samsquatch?"

"Peachy." Before he could continue, Dean interrupted. 

"Oí! Romeo's! We have more wrappers over here."

"Y'all get Khanaten?" He asked Dean as he walked over, willing his racing heart to slow the fuck down.

"Who? I thought this guys name was Amen?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Of course you did."

"These wrappers smell enchanted...and like something else, Adam is saying they smell like 'Sharpie'." 

Sam closed his eyes. What was even the point? He was no match against three fucking angels who could smell what he'd used. 

_Thanks a million, Adam_ he thought sarcastically. 

Maybe he should just admit defeat. 

"Sharpie? Like the marker?" asked Gabriel, curiosity covering his tone. 

Sam perked up. 

Michael cocked his head, assumedly listening to Adam. "He says yes."

"Let me see. I want to see if there's anything written on the inside."

Sam smiled at Gabriel's innate curiosity. 

He watched Michael hand it over and held his breath. 

"did the sun come up ↑ or did u just ☻ at me?"

"This one says, "du ju lik sleepN? me 2, we shud du et 2gether sumtime." Michael read it slowly, neither he nor Adam over accustomed to what passed for slang these days.

Cas cleared his throat. "Well, this one at least gives us a clue."

"It does? What's it say?" Dean asked, getting closer. 

"I'm no photographer but I can picture us together. They're telling us they aren't a photographer"

Several of them tried not to laugh as they processed what Cas was saying. Sam was trying particularly hard and Dean looked like he was about to bust a gut trying to hold it in. 

"Who is sending- Dean, are you ok?" Cas asked, looking up in worry at Dean's red face. 

"Mhmm, just mentally crossing photographer off the list." 

"Deano, behave. We need to figure this out. Why is someone sending Sam these pickup lines? It better not be another trickster?"

The words hit Sam and he almost groaned. 

Ah, beans. 

Gabriel thought they were for him. 

_fml_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fml my boss is here. sorry ya'll


	21. if u were a doughnut, i'd fill u w cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> manager is off doing smth or other again (although she did leave instruction for us to makes lots of calls and get a lot of sales, so yk, no difference there).   
> anyway, sorta getting tired of the pickup lines so Sam's gonna try one last time and then move on.

Well shit. 

That had backfired in the most spectacular way. 

Sam was deep in thought for a lot of the way back to the bunker, trying his hardest to come up with a solution. 

Help came in the form of two awkward angels and a brother who Sam could tell, was trying not to laugh at him. Sam trying to look stern, the way Dean could. He was older than Adam (in human years anyway, it should work). He failed if Adam's eventual laughing outburst was any indication. 

"So this is your...attempt to convince Gabriel and he thinks they're for you?" Michael and Cas stood before him, both of their heads tilted in the same direction. He briefly wondered if he'd ever get the chance to see Gabriel like that too, lined up with his brothers. It would be hilarious. 

He ran his fingers through his hair. This was really getting out of hand. More and more people were getting in on it. 

He sighed. 

"Well, what if you write his name on them?"

Sam scoffed. "Um, wouldn't that be hella obvious?" He tried to hold back the sarcasm.

Michael stared. "Well, it would be obvious that they were to him, it wouldn't be obvious that they were from you." He said slowly. 

Oh. 

Right. 

He straightened, waving his hand around his head in a non-committal gesture. "Brain on some other shit." He said by way of explanation. 

and so Sam went to the third haunting with purple hair (fucking Dean) and high expectations

Of course on the way there, Dean kept ribbing him until Sam broke. 

"Ya know what? It's not like I haven't been pranking you for daysss now. Every time you shower, in fact." 

Dead silence. 

"What?" Dean finally asked, maneuvering around a truck that looked like the one in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Sam didn't like McPherson. It was only a couple of hours from the bunker, still in Kansas in fact but it was too quiet. Reminded Sam of the time they went to Iowa for the physic girl, Magda or something like that. That town had been quiet. Too quiet. Towns, in Sam's vast experience, were a lot like kids. If they were too quiet you knew something was up. That's how McPherson was. As they passed a sign saying that a Chili's was finally opening there, he got chills. This was not going to be good. 

Sure enough, what they're looking for is a poltergeist. A former WWII zealot that somehow made it across to the Americas, he's made anyone who tries to live in the old decrepit mausoleum kill themselves. He's strong. Stronger than anything they've encountered in a while. This poltergeist uses all his anger to do fuck with people's heads and the only way they make it out alive is because Michael arrives in a flurry. The poltergeist, whose last name is Himmler, actually talked to them before shit goes all to hell. 

"You are of the master race. Why are you here?"

Dean snorted. "Buddy, I'm a mutt. And not only that but have you ever seen how beautiful women can be?" He lets out a shrill whistle. 

"The best combination is blonde hair and blue eyes."

"Clearly you've not seen the dark hair and striking blue eye combination." Dean replies easily, surprising Sam with his openness. 

"I see. Is that your woman?"

"Not so much. He's my angel."

That's ultimately what angers Himmler who calls Dean a whole slew of names that Sam never wants to repeat even in his head and angers him because if Dean goes back in the closet because of this idiot, he will personally bring him back out of hell just to torture him. Hell, he'll wish he were back in hell after Sam's done with him. 

When Michael shows up, the poltergeist takes ones look at his blonde hair and blue eyes and lifts his hand. 

Michael looks at him curiously, before cocking his head to one side, something that Sam and Dean have come to recognize as having a conversation with Adam before he scrunches his nose. 

"You're all apes," he tell Himmler, without preamble, "there is not a type of human that is better than another."

He then winces before rectifying, "except them, they're not apes." Sam tries not to laugh but Dean coughs out something that sounds like _whipped_ before they turn back. Both of them are bleeding and Sam's knows that his shoulder is dislocated...for the millionth time.

Dean's sporting a broken nose, getting blood all over himself. Every time he laughs or breaths it comes out whistley. 

_Where are you?_

The response is immediate.

**_Came to play pranks on the douche at the candy shoppe with Cas. You need me?_ **

Sam considers before replying. 

_Need? No. Michael's got it covered. Want? Yes._

Then Gabriel and Cas are there, Cas stumbling a bit as though the flight had been unexpected. He throws a glare at Gabriel before turning to Dean and healing him. Then he turns to Himmler, snapping his fingers. 

Himmler turns into less of a spirit and more of human. 

Himmler pales and it's noticeable now. 

"Are you God?"

Cas's eyes are bright blue. 

Dean snorts again, before tugging at Gabriel's sleeve and pointing at his face, a silent plea for Gabriel to clean it. Between one blink and the next, Dean's clean. 

"I asked him that once myself. He's not. I've met God though. He's an asshole."

Himmler, remembering who Dean is turns up his nose in distaste.

Dean grins maniacally before pointing at Cas. "Remember I told you about the dark hair and blue eye combo? Met Castiel, Angel of the Lord and most beautiful specimen I've ever seen."

Cas turns startled eyes Dean's way but Dean's not done. 

"Oh and so you know, some of your buddy's tried to revive Hitler. I killed him. And now, I'm going to kill you too and then I'm going to go get some ice cream and pie with my angel and we're going to live happily ever after."

Himmler starts in with the expletives almost immediately but Gabriel waves at him and snaps. 

Amidst Dean's protests, they watch Himmler burn in the most spectacular way. Sam's pretty sure Gabriel made it hurt but he can't bring himself to care. 

People like Himmler do not deserve to be alive. Not then and not now. The world has no room for them. As a whole, people, _good_ people are trying to advance and it's assholes like this that don't allow it. Fuck them.

As the screams finally go down, Sam hears one more petulant, "he was mine", from Dean before Gabriel asks him, "wouldn't you'd rather be on a date somewhere with Cassie, eating pie and having ice cream?"

Dean turns red and looks away. 

"Deano." 

Dean turns. 

"I'm going to send you to a beautiful place to enjoy just that. And you're going to have a great time, ok?"

Dean nods before reaching over to clasp Cas's hand. 

Then, with a snap from Gabriel, they're gone. 

and that's the story of how Dean actually came out before Sam did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't even that long but somehow took me all bloody day to complete. I had client after client. twas an excellent day. enjoy it or smth.   
> happy friday  
> oh. put on a damn mask, fcs.


	22. da werd uv da day iz legs-letz go bk 2 my place & spread da word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i've been busting my ass at work these days and my manager had been riding our asses because it was the end of the quarter and since we were out for quarantine, we missed a lot.  
> today is july 1st. it's the first day of the new quarter and there's pressure there but so far today we've had some good shit happen so.  
> on the other hand, my other manager moved her desk to my side, sigh. which literally means that any time she gets out of her chair, she can see my screen, lol. good times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somewhere in the middle of this I gave up on proper grammar. deal w it.

"You ready to go, Sammy?" Gabriel asks him. Sam's heart races. He most certainly is not. He still needs Gabriel to notice the wrappers. He shoots a frantic look at Michael who between one blink and the next understands and-

"um-" The First Born begins, looking shifty as fuck and Sam swallows the groan that threatens to escape and puts the fear of _someone_ into his arm so it dare not facepalm. Can't Adam control him better than that? 

Gabriel looks at him suspiciously, "you alright there, bro?"

"Imma-" Sam shifts the attention back to him, "go the restroom?"

"You don't know?" Gabriel asks him slowly, his gaze narrowing as his eyes flick over from him and Michael, assessing. And seriously, who knew Gabriel was this intuitive? He was supposed to be Sam's somewhat Blonde ditz. 

"Yeah, I'm just gonna-" Sam stops stuttering and instead points. As he goes toward the exit he passes the wrappers that fell out of his pocket and he does what he can, taking a deep breath and pulling an old play out of the handbook. 

"Gabe? There are more wrappers here."

In a flash the others are next to him and Gabriel is picking one up. 

"hey gabriel,-" Gabriel's voice trails off. "These are for me?" 

"Weird." Sam says, inching a little closer, "what's it say?"

"Um, um, it says, do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"

Sam cocks a brow at him. 

"Secret admirer, much?"

Gabe shakes his head vigorously, "most people don't even know I'm alive and kicking and besides who would like _me_ enough to go through all this trouble?"

well, that won't do.

"Me." Sam says, in the most _obviously_ tone of voice he can muster. 

Gabriel ignores him, opting to open another wrapper. "They could at least leave the candy" he mutters, affronted as get all. "What sort of heathen takes out the candy?

Sam tries not to smile. 

"I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way."

"Cheesy. I don't even wear socks."

"You don't? How do you not get blisters?" Sam asks. 

"Archangel Sam. Nothing happens to me that I don't want to happen." 

"Oh right."

Gabriel looks at him and smiles. "To be fair, if it were you offering, I'd totally wear socks."

"It _is_ me offering." Sam insists. 

Gabriel rolls his eyes. "I'm so sure."

He opens the last one before Sam can say anything else. 

"Out of all your curves, your smile is my favorite."

"Jesus. I almost believe these are yours, based solely on the levels of cheese."

"They _are_ mine." Sam tries again. 

"Uh-huh. Ok, well, if you're going to insist on that you won't have any trouble telling me one on the spot right now." Gabriel crosses his arms, challenged issued in his amber eyes. 

Sam would snort but he doesn't want Gabriel to think he's playing. He stands his ground and looks him dead in the eyes. 

"If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber."

"Are you French? Because Eiffel for you."

"Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile."

His voice is getting quieter now, almost desperately wishing that through this he can somehow prove to Gabriel that he's not lying.

"Let's flip a coin. Head's you're mine. Tails I'm yours."

when he finishes it's with less of a pick up line and more of a sentence. 

"I wish I could thank your dad for creating you."

That startles Gabriel just enough for him to snap his jaw closed. 

And then he's gone, leaving a defeated Sam with a pitying Michael. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tries to subtly moves screen away from boss*  
> "naomi, what are you doing over there? you're just typing away."  
> oops. forgot to occasionally take phone breaks.  
> "um, sending clients promotional emails."  
> "oh rlly? what template r u using?"  
> f.m.l.


	23. r u a charger? cos im dying w/o u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boss went to lunch.   
> victory is minnnnnne

Sam had given up. 

"I honestly don't know what else to do." He'd told Michael and Adam morosely. 

"Come on, you want to go for a ride?" Adam offers. 

"Sure." It'll at least give him time to think. It helps that Adam has Michael shape shift into a dragon and they both get the ride the scaly back. No one else can see them of course, but it does make Sam wonder how people can seriously be so dense. Even though Michael's invisible there is still evidence that something is there, random trees blowing where there is no accompanying wind and when he lands he does so with a thud. People turn but see nothing and turn back. What? They walk through the markets of India, jostling people as they go and even then, no one snakes out a hand to see if they can grab onto anything. Maybe he's just really jaded but he can't think of scenario where something would touch him hard enough to move him and him not reach out to see what it was. 

"Remember the pranks?" Michael asks. 

"Mmm." Sam says, non committedly, he's trying to forget the immense failure the pranks were. 

"Well, have you used them all?" 

"Um, no, actually. Haven't had time."

Michael shrugs. "Finish them. I'll help you with the last one."

"What last one?" Sam wonders. 

"I don't know yet but your brother has introduced me to Tik Tok and there are very inventive humans on there."

" _Dean_ watches Tik Tok?" Sam asks, amazed. 

Michael glares. 

Oh right. 

Sam smiles sheepishly. 

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are, but maybe work on it not happening so much?" Michael asks, surprisingly genial. 

Sam nods and they continue to walk, Sam and Adam picking up random odds and ends for their family members. Finally, when Sam's stomach starts to rumble they pop into a restaurant where Sam has the best vegan tikki masala ever. 

"Damn, this is good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 4:18pm and i have to start doing reports so we can go home. i'll finish this chapter up later.   
> it was rlly busy today. sorry, y'all.   
> ooh, also have two finals today. wish me luck


	24. am here. wut r ur other 2 wishes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -_-  
> we have call night tonight. because we don't have a single loan or cc on the books and we're a week into july. it's not for lack of trying it's that w the whole covid thing back office is now requiring poi even w credit cards. many clients, I feel, only acquiesce to cc's as a whole to be nice, after all, who /really/ needs more cc's? but even their niceness has limits and who's going to go through the trouble of searching for pay stubs for a card they don't even want? sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some gloomy shit.  
> and almost no proper capitalization of letters bc i'm can't drum up the necessary will to do it

that night, sam arrives home to an empty bunker. it's disorienting at first because he's not accustomed to it being so quiet. even during dean's downtime- he's just noisy, without even trying. usually the sound of a wrapper crinkling accompanies him. if gabriel is the candyman, dean is the burger man, no-no, the _fast food_ man. he's perpetually biting on something. 

anyway, he remembers dean is out on a date with his angel and his spirits get even gloomier. what's he supposed to do about gabriel? 

then he remembers michael and he smiles, it's barely there but it's there and it's enough. 

he heads into the kitchen where he prays to michael and adam to join him. when they do, he raises a brow. 

"what's the with leaves in your hair?"

michael points at himself. "he's still rough with the landing".

"so what's with the leaves in your hair?" he repeats, knowing michael wasn't the sort to allow anything on him that he didn't want.

Adam- he's learning to spot the changes- rolls his eyes. "he's getting the hang of human embarrassment. he thinks that by allowing the stupid leaves on our head that i'll be embarrassed enough to learn how to land properly."

sam arches a brow. "does he not know that has the exact opposite effect on us?"

Adam winks. "I don't think he does. But I do know that he's more embarrassed about it than I am. Ergo. _His_ punishment for thinking I could be coerced into learning."

Sam laughs. "That'll teach 'em." 

Adam shrugs. "Someone's gotta learn and it's not going to be me. I'm the human. I win by default."

Sam taps the side of his nose. "Point."

Then he points to his donuts. "Not to abuse your powers but I wondered if you guys could make these fresh again? I've had 'em for about a week. I could go buy more but I really hate wasting food."

"Yeah, sure." Sam watches as Adam reaches out and touches them, and then they're gold and plump again, and "wow, you know how to use the grace too?"

Adam shrugs, "I mean, yeah? We've used it together for such a long time that I don't actually know if I'm only human anymore, you know? I see better, react faster, etc. Shoulda seen the first time I tried to watch tv. Thought I was going to stroke out with all the pixels." 

Sam's listening with rapt attention. It sounds pretty fucking cool. He wonders if Gabriel would let him...

"Huh. That gives me another idea." He says out loud. 

Adam smiles like he knows what he's thinking. 

"Well, if that's all we're going to take our leave. I want to walk Michael around some more. Let people see the Sword with leaves and twigs in his hair."

Sam laughs again and nods and in another second, they're gone. 

Sam goes in search of a syringe and comes back with one that he's unsure what it was previously used on. Knowing it could be anything from blood to grace he makes sure to wash it twice before carefully injecting mayonnaise into the donuts. 

_Have donuts, will travel_ he thinks at Gabriel.

"Where we going?" Gabriel asks immediately showing up. Sam stares for a minute, curious about whether Gabriel comes so quickly because it's him or because each time he's called it has to do with sweets. He wonders if he should proceed with his little prank but decides to go ahead with it anyway, figuring that Gabriel can just snap up some donuts for them after. 

"Wanna go see Michael with twigs in his hair?"

Gabriel smiles, a smirk spreading across his face as Sam sends him the memory of the antecedents. 

"Absofuckingloutely."

This time it's Sam who jumps on Gabriel's back and then they're off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can tell the moment I started feeling better because I started capitalizing again, lol. Amazing how this 'verse we share has such a profound effect on who we are and how we live, huh? 
> 
> I hope you guys have a wonderful day. I'm off to actually do some work now. Bye y'all.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deadass slept for over 9 hrs last night and istc i've never been so tired. my co-worker's husband has all the symptoms of covid, he went and got tested Friday evening around 5pm, and they won't find out until sometime today. anyway, her duties are now mine (on top of my own, ofc) and i've only been here about two hrs and i'm fkn tired. there's a pain somewhere behind my right eyeball.

Sam watches, an amused grin on his face, as Gabriel mercilessly teases the ever-loving fuck out of Michael who is in a greater state of disarray than when they left him. 

"I'm teaching him a lesson." Michael says mouth tight. 

Gabriel laughs harder and shakes his head. "Oh, no, brother, he's teaching _you_ the lesson."

Michael glances at Adam, quizzically. Adam had just been standing there, doing his damnedest to look appropriately contrite but now, having been outted, he lifts his head and winks at Michael who actually takes a step back in surprise. "You-" he splutters. Adam grins, "I go by Milligan but I'm also a Winchester." Then he snaps, pulling on Michael's grace and he's spiffy, clean and put together all over again. 

Michael gives him a sheepish look, "I'm sorry beloved." 

"I'm sorry too. It was for my own amusement. I didn't mean for these two to laugh at you too." Adam says, pointing to Sam and Gabriel. 

Gabriel's still laughing and Sam decides to teach his own angel a lesson.

"Donut?"

"Ooh, yeah please. Dinner and a show. Awesome." Gabriel makes grabby hands at Sam who pulls his donuts out and motions for Gabriel to grab one. 

He does and they all watch as he takes a huge bite, mayonnaise smearing all over his face and Sam tries not to grimace. A split second later they watch Gabriel practically turn green right before their eyes, spit it out and jump back like he's afraid it's going to land on him on the way down. Sam bites the inside of his cheek and tries not to look at his brother and...bro-in-law(? bro-in-christ? literally?) but he loses it when Adam lets out a snicker. 

Even Michael starts laughing. "I provided the donuts." He tells Gabriel, smiling brightly as the latter tries snapping something up to wash the taste out of his mouth. Only nothing is happening. 

"Let me go, dammit."

Sam's head cocks. "Wait. Is he blocking you somehow?"

"You think?" Gabriel glares.

It sorta stops being funny after that. 

"What are you doing?" He asks Michael quietly. 

"It's ok. I used to do this to all of them when they were little."

Sam glances at Adam. He doesn't want to say it but...

"Michael." Adam says.

"Hmm?"

"That's bullying. That's not nice."

"No, I'm just teasing. He likes it."

Sam's eyebrow rises so high he's pretty sure it's considered hair at the moment. 

He looks Adam's way again who's stepping in front of Michael.

"No, he doesn't. There's a thin line between teasing and cruelty. Imagine being stripped of all your power at once, Mihk. How powerless you'd feel."

Michael considers this and peers around Adam's head to look at Gabriel. 

"You...do not enjoy this?"

Gabriel solemnly shakes his head and Sam feels as Gabriel power is released in one fell swoop. He can tell Gabriel's about to leave so he stops him the only way he knows how. Putting his arms around him. 

"Please don't go. I know you can, but I'm asking you to please stay. This is all my fault. I brought you out here to play a joke and show you I can be funny too. and it somehow turned into this. I'll...I'll let- no- if you snap up snacks I'll eat them. I swear, Gabriel. Please don't go."

He feels Gabriel relax slowly. 

"You'll eat the snacks?" 

Sam tries not to wince. He doesn't each much. He suspects he probably has depression or something that's long since taken his appetite away. That combined with the fact that he's never especially been into candy- but a promise is a promise and he'll do it if Gabriel will stay. 

"Sammy?"

"Yeah, I'll eat them."

Gabriel steps away from him then and looks at him; Sam tries not to fidget. He's not leering at him, he seems to be looking into him. Sam's heart speeds up as he realizes that that's exactly what Gabriel is doing. He's about to open his mouth and ask him to please stop (it feels wrong that an angel, _any_ angel should be subjected to his insides) when Gabriel says, "you don't eat enough, you know that?" Sam doesn't know what to say to that so he just holds Gabriel's glance. Gabriel reaches up and scratches his jaw- it looks funny on an angel. He shouldn't even be itchy. 

"I think maybe you just haven't found food that suits you. So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to bring some food from different places, times, etc. And you're going to try it. You don't have to eat it all of course, I just want you to try it. But when you eat it, I want you to really try to taste it. Try and taste the time it was made in, the different flavours of ethnicities, of spices, of the methods used to make the dish. Let me know what flavours and textures appeal to you and we'll see if we can't bring your appetite back."

Sam is so surprised at this unexpected turn of events that he almost jumps when his stomach rumbles and he can't help but smile gratefully at Gabriel. 

"I think," he begins, "that even when you're not trying, you can't help but shine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's literally 3:18pm. my fkn brain hurts. but this chapter is done so enjoy it. if u don't, don't tell me cos it's gonna hurt.


	26. aside 4m being sexxxi wut du u du 4 a livin'?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's Monday again.   
> i went to bed at 5am-ish this morning and i had to be at work by 8:15. it's 10:50am and everything hurts. im having coffee, red bull, and chocolate. this morning omw to work i had a red bull and a slim fast bc am on diet. im tired of being fat so i started watching what i eat and have started working out. i want to look bomb as f in my halloween costume.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to google foods that no longer exist. it was rlly interesting. even some spices are extinct now. humans r the worst. we impact the world so much, as insignificant as we may feel, and it truly does take just a few who care to actually do smth. it may not feel like much to you but when added w the work of everyone else, it's major. it's enough to save smth that's worth saving- whether it's a coral, an anemone, a spice, a single duck. we can do this. we can be better. we can do more. we can care deeper.

Sam's...not sure what he was expecting but this is definitely not it. Gabriel was not lying. He went through time and space only to come back with this impressive display of food. 

"But if I eat this, won't it run out faster? Won't I be affecting history?"

"Nah, it's kinda like... you know how some people throw away their food if they don't like it or they don't finish it, etc?" Sam nods his head in understanding and Gabriel continues, "well, this is sorta like from there. You're not eating trash of course, but I sorta took it and repurposed it, if you will."

Sam nods again. Makes sense. 

"And you said you brought this one because it's made with spices we no longer have?"

"A herb, really." Gabriel says. He can see the interested glint in Sam's eye and remembering he's basically a sponge for all things knowledge, Gabriel takes his time in explaining. He snaps and creates a hologram of the plant so that Sam can see it. "I would have brought one but if even an iota of pollen were to disperse..." he trails off, knowing Sam understands. 

He points at various parts of the plant. "I know it doesn't look like much but this plant was considered worth more than gold, it was so valuable. It was edible- you could roast, boil or steam the stem, the roots were eaten fresh or as tea, they were even fed to sheep because the effect it had in tenderizing the meat was evident. From it's flowers came perfume and even when they were too dried to be used as perfume they could be sprinkled over delicacy meals for taste, like brain or flamingo."

"This isn't a...delicacy, is it?" Sam asks, wrinkling his nose slightly. It's not that he wouldn't eat flamingo, butttt, he can't help but feel like that feels wrong. Gabriel huffs out a laugh. "No, it isn't. It's just quail. This one however-" He points at a different dish, "you'll never guess what this is. You want to try it?"

Sam takes the spoon and grabs the bowl where it's hovering in mid air as are the rest of the dishes. There's cut up meat, mixed in with...lentils (maybe) and the aroma, he can't place any of it. 

"Lentils with...meat?" His mind is remembering Dean eating lizard although he hesitates to voice that out loud. Ah fuck, what if he's eating dinosaur? 

Gabriel laughs, having plucked the thought right out of his mind. "Not dinosaur. Something that existed with humans. Sorta. Upper Palaeolithic epoch if you want to be technical. You might know them as-"

"Neanderthals." Sam states. 

Gabriel nods. 

"Those are not lentils," Michael interjects. "Lentils only came to be about ten thousand years ago, whereas your Neanderthals and that mammoth you're about to eat existed about forty thousand years ago."

" _Mammoth?!"_

Gabriel glares at Michael who has the grace to look sheepish. "I'm so sorry. I forgot he didn't know yet."

"It's ok." The words out of Sam's mouth before he can stop them. 

Gabriel's head whips back to face him, surprise written all over it. 

"I kinda want to try it," Sam confesses. "I'll be the first human in tens of thousands of years to do so and well, you did go through all this trouble. Thank you, I really appreciate it." He peers a little closer to the "lentils" and decides not to request clarification on what they actually are. Upon closer inspection, he realizes they could always be small bugs of some sort and, yeah, he'd really rather not know. 

In the end he tries a little bit of everything. The mammoth tastes a lot like steak, it's soft and slightly gamey but not overly so. It's not bad actually and he'd looked at Gabriel in surprise. "I didn't get you that one for any other reason than I thought you'd like knowing that you're the first human to do so in a long time."

His eyes twinkle. "However, those lentils are exactly what you think they are."

Sam stops eating. "You're a little shit."

Gabriel shrugs. "Gotta be myself." He says it flippantly but his eyes say that he may or may not be testing Sam's reactions to him. Sam smiles. "If you think I'm not filled with gratitude right now that you went back to a time I can never experience on my own just so I could try food, you're extremely incorrect. I appreciate your thoughtfulness more than I can express. I will definitely be thinking of something to repay you for this."

Gabriel shakes his head, his hair falling slightly onto his face and Sam gives in to the urge to push the soft golden strand back behind Gabriel's ear where he traces the outer ridge with his finger. 

"I don't need you to repay me." Gabriel says, looking surprisingly sincere, "I just need you to be ok."

They stare at each other until Michael, or Adam, really, clears their throat at them and Sam resumes eating. He gets why the quail with the silphium (it sorta resembles a yellow milk based curry) is worth so much. It's really really good. One of the best things he's ever eaten. 

The last thing Sam tries is the extinct Ansault Pear. His chin is dripping with the runaway juices when he has a thought and he hastily wipes in the general vicinity of his face with his sleeve."Hey! Would I- would I be able to visit the dinosaurs?"

Gabriel laughs. "I was waiting on you to catch on and ask. Lets go, you ready?"

Sam nods excitedly and the four of them take off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted this chapter to be better but i'm bloody tired so this is the best i can do. sorry.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boss comes in later. yay.

Gabriel is an asshole and Sam takes back every nice thing he's ever said about him. 

It's the next day and Sam is still fuming. 

Gabriel sicced a fucking T-Rex on him. Sam is 100% sure he did, no matter how much Gabriel denies it. 

Sam had to run for his life, absolutely screaming in terror the entire time while Gabriel stood on the sidelines and laughed his ass off, holding something up that Sam just knows was a recording device of some sort. 

He's so invested in his own fury that he doesn't even sense Castiel and Dean's arrival until he jumps, startled at Dean's outburst of "Sammy!" He's about to snap at Dean for scaring him when the look on his brother's face stops him. 

Dean looks...happy. So happy in fact that he looks about five years younger, when the worst of their worries was the Mark of Cain. Pre-Darkness and all the bullshit that has since occurred. 

"Dean?" He says a bit hesitantly, because really he's not exaggerating. Dean really looks younger. 

He's nervous, suddenly. Afraid something happened and he doesn't want to turn to Cas until he's sure Dean's ok. 

_Gabriel. Michael. Adam. There's something wrong with Dean. Please come._

Then they're there and their arrival only serves to make Sam more nervous. Jaws have dropped and there's silence. Dead silence. Sam's _thisclose_ to fucking calling Chuck himself when Gabriel whoops, the biggest grin Sam's ever seen on him, breaking out on his face. 

He watches in stunned silence as Gabriel runs to Cas and picks him up, twirling him around, Cas's trench coat narrowly missing Sam's nose. Gabriel is legitimately squealing and Sam can hear Cas laughing. Actually laughing. _Cas_. 

When he finally puts Cas down he starts babbling, his language flowing from one to another so rapidly that Sam can't keep up, he's also...glowing? Sam rubs his eyes and looks harder. Yep, he's glowing. Glowing a bit too much actually and Sam's eyes are starting to hurt a bit when it stops and Gabriel whirls on Michael who puts his hands up in placating manner. 

"Brother. You were going to explode. You're hurting Sam." Sam watches as Gabriel spins around to look at him an apology all over his face. 

"I'm so sorry, Sammy. I forgot that you can still get hurt."

Sam says nothing. His synapses firing as he pieces things together. His brother went to- well, somewhere with Castiel. He's back and looks younger and apparently angel grace no longer hurts him. He turns confused and hurt eyes on his brother. 

"What'd you do?" He asks. For reasons unknown he feel like crying. He feels...he shifts uncomfortably as he realizes that he feels left behind. He's never felt that from Dean before and it's jarring to remember that Dean knows the feeling because he's left Dean behind many times. The tightening in Sam's chest gets worse. How did Dean ever come back from this? He feels betrayed and nothing has even happened. 

He doesn't know when he shut his eyes, only knows he has when he hears Dean's soft, "Sammy", in front of him and realises he can't see him. He can't open his eyes though because now he's aware that they're waterlogged and will spill over if he opens them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry. i will finish this tonight. she's here and i'm in a meeting anyway so i am trying to pay attn cos it's new shit


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's monday, i'm at work, i just got out of a meeting and i'm on ao3 bc i need to just not be /here/ for a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for not going back to edit the last chapter. i forgot. 
> 
> so this is part II of that last chapter.

Against his better judgement, Sam opens his eyes and meets Dean's. 

"What did you do?" He repeats. 

"I completed the bond that Cas and I already shared." Dean says simply. 

"and nothing can hurt you now?"

"I wouldn't say that. I'm just a little sturdier now." 

"But you won't age."

"No, I won't."

"and what about me?"

Dean grins at him looking for all the world like he has a secret he's not sharing. 

"Don't overthink it Sammy." 

Sam wanted to ask Dean what he was on about but got distracted by his brother's new face and instead a chuckle escaped him. 

"You really do look like the youngest one now, Dean." He teased. 

Dean grew red. "Shut up, don't hate me cos I'm fabulous." He mock flipped his hair and flounced off. Sam smiled quietly and shook his head. 

"What'd you do anyway?" Dean asked from his place next to Cas. 

Sam snuck a glance at Gabriel who was already smirking, the little shit. 

"Well- it started out well enough-"

He's interrupted by Gabriel who has whipped out the recording device and is waving it obnoxiously in the air. 

Sam sighs before making the go ahead motion at Gabriel. 

Gabriel apparently can't wake for them to walk the few feet to Dean's bat cave and between one breath and the next, they're all there and amidst grumbles (from everyone) Gabriel waves them off and points at the screen. 

It start innocuously enough, Gabriel has panned out the view and it's beautiful; scenic the way the makers of The Lion King actually managed to capture. A brontosaurus ambles into view and they hear Dean's sharp intake of breath. "What is this?" He asks to no one in particular. 

"Jurassic Era." Gabriel responds absently. He's paying rapt attention to the screen, going so far as to lean forward, to really see what's coming. _Like he wasn't there._ Sam thinks, the faker.

"But when-" 

"Deano! Are you going to watch or are you going to talk?" 

"Fine, fine. Jeez."

Two seconds later there's a high pitch sound although nothing can be seen on screen yet and Sam feels his face turning red. He can feel Dean's side-eye. 

"Um, Sammy?"

"Not talking about it Dean."

The scream gets louder and then like in a video game, you see a small character running in from the edge of the screen. Everyone can tell it's Sam because of the way his hair flips to and fro as he frantically turns his head to see something behind him. 

Dean is laughing, shoulders shaking so hard Sam can feel the couch moving, even if no sound is coming out. He glares at his brother whose face is beet red in his effort to hold the laughter in. 

When the character (Sam) almost trips over nothing and he almost goes down, his scream turning into a high pitch wail, Adam breaks. He starts laughing so hard tears are leaking out his eyes and Dean gives up the ghost and joins him. "Ahhhh". Dean starts mimicking Sam's wailing. They sound like some discordant sound machine. 

Dean's wail cuts off abruptly as the T-Rex comes on screen. "Whoa. Look at that." He says softly. "You got to see the dinos, Sammy."

"You got to see the dinos." He repeats and Sam knows what he's talking about. One time that they had been with John in Texas, Sam had wanted to visit their dinosaur museum. He'd cried when John yelled no at him. He's thought about it once or twice over the years and although he's never mentioned it to Dean, he can hear in his voice that he remembers. 

On screen Sam falls and the T-Rex roars but just runs over him and they watch as Sam flips Gabriel off, the camera shakes a little at was undoubtedly jostled by Gabriel's shaking laughter, but then they watch as Sam turns his head back to face the dino with a look of awe on his face. Off screen Sam doesn't even remember doing the next part but it's right there for the whole world to see. Screen Sam turns away from the retreating dino and turns to look at Gabriel with the widest smile he thinks has ever been on his own face.

Gabriel must have not realized the next part because they hear a very soft "oh" from him and Sam turns to look at him. Gabriel looks away but Sam smiles anyway because he understands now that Gabriel must have just realized that Sam wasn't lying. He really did love him. 

Then the whole thing is ruined because a pterodactyl appears out of nowhere and takes off into the sky with Sam screaming his head off in his talons and then Gabriel's cracking up again and eventually Michael (or maybe Adam) step in and rescue him because Gabriel's still enjoying himself far too much and-

"That's basically what happened." He tells Dean who smirks. "So you were basically stewing when we came in, huh?"

"A pterodactyl, Dean! He coulda dropped me." Sam responds indignantly. What if Gabriel hadn't recovered fast enough to catch him?

Michael clears his throat and Sam turns to look at him. "For what it's worth, my brother had his wings out the entire time. There's basically no where the bird could have dropped you that he couldn't have caught you."

That stuns Sam. "You-what?" He asks Gabriel who's shooting daggers at Michael. 

Gabriel sighs and turns his way, shrugging like it's a chore and he really couldn't be bothered. His words though, they touch Sam because they're sincere and Sam can feel it. 

"I would never let you fall, Sam. You said so yourself."

He had, Sam remembered. He had said that. 

"I'm sorry I forgot."

"In hindsight, it was probably a lot." Gabriel admits quietly. 

and well, that's about all Sam can stand. He goes and picks Gabriel up, his size and weight so diminutive that it's almost too easy to lift him. He delights in Gabriel's escaped "oof", then sits back down, Gabriel in his lap. 

He can feel his eyes, wide and questioning on him but he ignores that, letting Gabriel just wonder the same way he's been wondering for days. 

"So," he says, turning back to Dean, "the bond?"


	29. u must b a broom cos u just swept me off my feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> these r actually rlly fun. i'm glad u guys haven't mentioned anything abt the chapter lengths. i'm aware that some of these r ridiculously short.

the following three days are almost a blur for Sam, they go by so quickly. sunday evening he'd gone to bed fairly early, worn out from all the activities of the weekend and he wasn't a spring chicken anymore, ok?

but then dean, apparently not over the prank war, had gabriel, or hell, at this point it was probably cas, _someone,_ snap him up alarm clocks that he hid in sam's room. the first one went off at midnight, startling the ever loving fuck out of sam who had to walk around in a stupor, trying to find the damn thing. 

the last one went off at seven and by that point sam was so pissed he hissed for gabriel to show himself and when he did sam threw his own strict no-misusing-angel-powers rule out the window and begged gabriel to help him by placing all 7 alarm clocks in dean's room, at the loudest setting, and playing celine dion. gabriel had acquiesced saying that he was only doing it because "you beg so prettily" making sam actually turn so red it looked like his chest had caught on fire. naturally he hadn't been wearing a shirt. 

the brothers didn't talk to each other for most of that day, especially bc sam had gabriel make the alarms invisible and even cas couldn't find them. dean had to call adam for help while sam laughed his ass off in retribution. 

later that day, dean got back at him by sneaking out his yogurt and letting it spoil outside under the sweltering kansas sun. sam usually snacked on one before going to bed. imagine his surprise (and disgust) when he opened one of the cups and the pro-biotics in it had become actual bugs. they looked like a cross between a worm and a maggot. that time he ran after dean and caught him (because dean doesn't fkn exercise) but then (because his brother is still a fast motherfucker) after he'd caught him they stood there hunched over each other, panting out of breath, or so sam thought when his brother used his position to his advantage and fucking pants'd Sam before cackling in victory and running away. 

naturally that was at the same time that gabriel and cas turned the corner, michael and adam in tow. dean just grabbed cas's hand and pulled him with him while michael and adam flew off to chuck knew where and it was just him and gabe. 

"I really do have a knack for finding you in various states of undress." gabriel commented, parroting sam's own thought from a few weeks before at him. 

sam didn't even say anything, just bent over and picked up his grey sweats. 

"but damn if you are't proportional." gabriel continued. 

at that sam stood slowly, releasing the band of his pants against his skin. 

"mm" he hummed thoughtfully.

"it seems i should return the favour." he finally continued, walking slowly towards gabriel, giving him a chance to escape. 

but he didn't. he didn't move. he just stood there, eyes growing impossibly wider until sam was on him, his hands at his waist. 

"i think", he said, stooping down just a bit to hitch gabriel on his waist, "it's time to show u how much i adore you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're gonna have sex in the next chapter. i was going to include it here but i've never actually written sex soooo idk how to do it. wish me luck.


	30. if u feel ↓ lmk. I'll feel u ↑

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i. am. on. vacation. 
> 
> fuck. yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written a sex scene. lmk how I did.

sam felt Gabriel sag in his arms and he realized that maybe this was what Gabriel needed. anyone could say pretty words but Gabriel saw in actions. since that was the case, sam decided he was going to give him plenty of action. 

when they reached sam's room he didn't even stop, barely pausing just enough to use his foot to close the door, before turning to brace Gabriel against the wall. "stay" he murmurs, asking Gabriel to hold himself there. Gabriel stays and when sam leans back he sees that Gabriel's pupils are wide blown. desire, riddled with something else, is there but so is curiosity, hope, and still then something even more hidden but even sweeter. Gabriel. Gabriel who has probably had sex a million times over doesn't want to be fucked. he wants to be loved so much that it hurts to even acknowledge. it hits sam that the desire for it is so strong and Gabriel's come this long without finding what he so desperately wants that now it's not easy for him to accept, not because he doesn't believe sam, but because he doesn't believe in himself. if Gabriel had been human, having gone so long without what he truly wants would have left him a cynic, but Gabriel's not human, he's been without for so long that that cynicism has mutated into him believing he must not be worthy. 

the buck stops here.

changing course he grabs Gabriel again and carries him to the bed where he tells Gabriel to lie down on his stomach and that he'll be right back. 

"I can just snap some up." Gabriel says, voice muffled. 

that stops sam short. he briefly wonders if Gabriel is reading his mind but no, it sounds more like- "Snap what up?" he asks, voice deceptively calm. 

"Lube?" Gabriel asks. Tears sting in Sam's eyes and he's glad Gabriel can't see him. Gabriel really thinks he's just going to take, just take and not give anything in return. His heart breaks and he vows to make this as good as he can for him. 

He clears his throat just the slightest just so it won't crack as he responds with "not yet". He goes to grab massage cream, something he always has because massages feel good to him and Dean after hard hunts, and is glad he always finds the scents that smell good. Dean's a heathen that always goes straight for the one that smells like a mix of medicine, peppermint and grandpa. 

he finds a lavender one that also has a self heating component and yes, that'll do nicely. he comes back and sees Gabriel lying there, naked. he grabs a thin white linen and covers Gabriel with it before squeezing his leg. 

"what are you doing?" Gabriel asks. curious. always curious. 

"I bet you were quite the rebel rouser in heaven weren't you?" he can't help but asks. something like a snort sounds out of Gabriel. "yeah. I was the one permanently in trouble because according to Mikey I ask too many stupid questions."

"mm," sam hums, still squeezing various parts of Gabriel through the sheet that covers him, "no such thing as stupid question. 's the way we learn, after all."

"try telling them that." Gabriel says, but a deep sigh escapes him and he sounds content. he's relaxing. 

finally sam turns the sheet down to about his waist and squeezes some of the cream onto his hands. 

"our minds," he begins, uncertain at first, because angel, not to mention archangel, minds are so vastly different from theirs it could or could not apply, until he ultimately decides that big or small, it's still a mind, ergo... "process so much when we're asleep...or in a state of deep relaxation. I know you don't sleep but see if you can't allow yourself to drift off for a little bit, it'll allow your body to heal."

"heal from what?" Gabriel asks

"we don't always hurt from stuff that makes us ache, you know?" he responds quietly, "some hurt isn't visible but it's there all the same."

Gabriel doesn't respond and Sam wonders if he's thinking about his time with Asmodeus. Or his time with Metatron and he briefly feels rage against these beings that dared to hurt his precious angel. 

He forces himself to calm because he wants to expend nothing but good energy towards Gabriel right now. Over the years he's perfected the art of finding his chi. it's something he turned to out of necessity, first because of the demon blood habit and then kept at it when he realized it helped him keep his anger in check. He calls on it now as he finally places his hands on Gabriel's warm skin. He closes his eyes and drifts to the center of his mind, happy to find his own aura in relaxed tones of blue, teal and green. the ever present purple is there, it's connected to his psychic part, a part that he hasn't dared to use in some time until now, until Gabriel. and his curiosity peaks when he sees strands of gold but knowing what it means, it pleases him. he's on the right path then, Gabriel is receiving his good intentions. 

he's focusing on all the good vibes, his mind converting the will into something comprehensible to his human mind and it looks like sound waves expanding forward and out, to Gabriel. distantly he can feel his hands pushing and rubbing Gabriel's back. he can hear Gabriel's content sighs but he mostly focuses on their inner healing, the practice soothing something inside of him as is it Gabriel. 

he doesn't know how much time has passed before he finally gently pulls out of his own mind and opens his eyes to his surroundings, blinking against the harsh light of the lamp. it's a very dim bulb and his reaction to it means he had probably reached nirvana while he was in there. he's also at Gabriel's feet, having fully uncovered him as he massaged his entire body, even his hair is askew, which means that Sam had even given him a scalp massage- he doesn't remember that part at all. Gabriel has short but shapely legs and sam's gaze roams up where his pert ass is, two handfuls of perfection that sam can't wait to put his face between and- but he's getting ahead of himself. 

he reaches down and brings one of Gabriel's feet up to his mouth before placing a soft kiss on the plant of it, just below his toes. he trails kisses all along each toe before traveling up the underside of it and then repeating the action on the sides. 

_any time you doubt my love for you, consider each one of these kisses a promise._

he thinks it at Gabriel before pointedly doing it once more, just so Gabriel can see how many of those promises he has to call on. and that's just on one foot. finally sam moves up to his ankle, his calf, the underside of his knee. he lightly suckles at the skin there which makes Gabriel squirm and his legs part gifting sam with the peek of his dick, making him hard in an instant as heat swirls in his gut. he forces himself to calm down but still, after feathering Gabriel's hammies with kisses he can't help put place a ton of kisses on his left cheek, lightly nipping and sucking. hickies. he's giving Gabriel hickies. sam has the thought that he's never given anyone hickies nor has he ever had the intention of doing so but somehow going taking the time to give them to the one being who could do away with them in less time than it takes sam to blink...

Sam eventually reaches the back of Gabriel's neck and watches with fascination as goosebumps break out on Gabriel's skin. It's so responsive and he wonders if Gabriel is doing it or if it's actually reacting to him. It's not ego but more like _certainty_ that it's him that makes him smile. 

"Damn, you're so beautiful." He says and it might be the first words he's said in a while but he knows that he and Gabriel have been communicating in other ways, _better_ ways, and that makes him happy. 

He hums as he works his way back down the other side of Gabriel's body, taking his time and every time he hears Gabriel let out another blissful sigh the ball of light in his chest expands and by the time he's kissing the backs of those toes again, it's about ready to explode so he closes his eyes and lets it. 

in a whoosh he expels all that love outwardly, towards Gabriel. so he can feel it. 

if Gabriel's gasp is any indication he's received the message. 

he squirms again and sam's eyes immediately go to the space between his legs, to see if he can see- ah, yes, there it is. sam's boner has abated but not completely gone away and it comes back to life full force so sam finally gives in. he wets his lips and pushes Gabriel's legs further apart, takes a moment to savour how pliant Gabriel is, how much trust he has placed in sam that he lets him do what he wants, or it could just be that knows he could end sam as quickly as he could get rid of the hickies but somehow it doesn't feel like that. it feels like trust. 

once he's parted his legs enough that he knows his face will fit he's able to see Gabriel's dick better, trapped underneath his balls and he must be hard too because there's a bead of precum on the tip and that's what Sam is going for. he swipes his tongue across it, letting the flavour explode in his mouth and groaning lightly at the taste, relishing the moan that escapes Gabriel. sam takes a deep breath, inhaling Gabriel's smells and committing them to memory but loving the way they already feel familiar, like it's not his first time doing this, but rather like he's coming home again. when he opens his eyes again there's more precum on Gabriel's dick and he swipes his tongue across it to get another taste, following up the motion with a swipe of the shaft as much as he can, allowing Gabriel to cant his hips up in an effort to give him more access. he sticks his hand underneath and brings it to him, before taking it all in his mouth, stretching his lips wide so he can take his balls in too. Gabriel groans again and Sam sees him shift his head to the other side and as much as he'd like to ask Gabriel to flip over he has a job to do here first, one that the mere thought of has his mouth salivating and when he pops off Gabriel's dick it's wet and dripping. he uses his hands to spread Gabriel's ass cheeks, staring at the pretty pink hole in front of him, thinking about he wants to do this before ultimately doing it the way he wants to. he gathers some of the wetness in his mouth and spits on it before shoving his face in and swirling his tongue. Gabriel immediately flails and a wanton cry come out but the blood is rushing in sam's ears and he can barely hear it because this is so hot and he can't stop licking. he gathers up more spit and spits into his hand, reaching back underneath and taking a hold of Gabriel's dick simultaneously eating him out and giving him a hand job. 

it's only then that he hears Gabe saying his name over and over and it grounds him. "Sam, Sam stop." 

He immediately stills. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean- did I hurt you?" Shame fills him at how he's pleasuring himself with Gabriel's body and just because he likes it doesn't mean Gabriel does and-

"No! I mean, yes. I love it but I want to see you too, you know?" Gabriel has flipped himself over and is leaning up braced against his forearms. "Maybe return the favour?" He says almost shyly like Sam for some unknown reason would somehow say no. And Sam would say yes, he'd speak the words out loud, he really would but turning over has allowed him to really see Gabriel's dick for the first time and whoa, it's a masterpiece. Long and thick, it has two veins, one on the top and the one on the bottom that Sam had run his tongue over earlier. 

"Sam?"

He tears his eyes back to Gabriel's. "You might not believe me but this is getting me off," he says finally because it's the truth, "I've always wanted to be able to show my significant other how much I love them but no one has ever let me. They think I take too long or that what I'm doing is pointless not understand that this is a- a kink if you will. 'Too much foreplay', he parrots before continuing. "But you're the first one who has let me and that means more to me than you know. It's like a two for one- you're letting me take my time _and_ it's you. It's that much more special. It's that much more important. That much more a turn on. This is a turn on for me. Please let me continue. Please?"

Gabriel stares at him for a moment before licking his lips and nodding. Sam smiles at him before looking down and seeing that Gabriel's erection has lagged. His dick grows impossibly harder. 

"I'm sorry," Gabriel says, following his gaze. Sam waves him off feeling free to tell him exactly what he thinks. "I love the feeling of a soft cock swelling up in the warm confines of my mouth." Gabriel's eyes dilate and Sam has the gall to wink at him before turning back and doing exactly that. He takes the entire cock in his mouth right now that he can, running his tongue over it again and again, not sucking because it's not there yet, his eyes come up to see Gabriel with his head tilted back as he lets out a moan. Sam puts his hands underneath his ass and pulls forward so Gabriel can feel him taking in the entirety of his dick, letting his tongue hit the scrotum and that's the one and only time he's able to do that as Gabriel's dick goes from soft to hard in 0.01 seconds and he almost chokes on it. 

"That's more like it." He laughs breathlessly, popping back off it, letting the saliva hang there in strands for Gabriel to see.

"You ready?" He asks and Gabriel nods and puts his hands in his hair lightly pushing him back down in a way that makes Sam moan before diving back in because with that move he felt how much Gabriel wanted it- wanted _him._

He's in the middle of blowing him and lightly running his finger in circles around his now very wet hole, made so by all the saliva that's run down and the fact that Sam has him practically folded in half when lube appears in his hand and Sam closes his eyes to finish capturing the experience that was performing fellatio on Gabriel before uncapping the lube and pouring generously on Gabriel, mixing it around with his spit before gingerly pushing his middle finger in. Gabriel moans and pushes at Sam's head again and he gets the message- Gabriel wants him to open him with his mouth. Good. He loves that Gabriel trusts him enough to ask for what he wants. 

Ten minutes later Gabriel is really writhing on the bed and Sam has four fingers in, his mouth still working in unison with them. 

"Sam, Sam, please Sam."

"What baby?"

Gabriel babbles something and Sam takes that to mean that he's ready for Sam now. Sam sees his hole, gaping where his fingers and mouth have been and he takes all of five seconds to push his own pants down where until now he's been fully clothed, dumping some lube on his cock that until now hadn't realized was _aching_ and sheathing himself into Gabriel all in one goal. 

Sam and Dean know bodies well. They know where to inflict the most pain, how to make their punches, kicks and stabs as effective as possible and if Sam took it upon him to know all the pleasure points too, well, that's only going to come in handy now. He barely takes a second to let Gabriel adjust. He loves hard but fucks even harder and Gabriel is both an archangel and has been extremely worked over, he's not going to hurt. Not in the painful way, anyway, only the pleasure way. He pulls almost all the way out before tilting his hips just so and diving back in letting his dick rub against Gabriel's prostate fully and by the low, drawn out groan that Gabriel lets out, he's feeling the full effect. 

"Do you want me to turn over?" Gabriel pants out and it's only then that Sam realizes he's stopped and is staring at Gabriel in the face, mentally cataloging his face and all the emotions that keep flitting over it. 

"God no. I wouldn't be able to see your face." Sam says something coming over him as Gabriel's face pinks and he looks away. Well, that won't do. 

Sam pats his legs and runs his hands up and down the sides. "You're fucking hot, you know that? I wish I could fuck you into oblivion."

"What are you waiting for then?" Gabriel asks. 

Sam shrugs placing his legs down on either side of him and leaning forward to grasp Gabriel's face with his hands. "Just dawned on me that I haven't kissed you yet."

Gabriel looks at him seriously, the space between so minute that they're practically cross-eyed. "Finally?" and it hits Sam that Gabriel is telling him that he's been waiting for this and ok, he might not be the best at letting Sam know what he wants, what he needs but more than that there's a hint of rebuke in his tone. Something that lets Sam know that this isn't easy for Gabriel but he's gifting him yet another invaluable thing and that is for Sam to know that he wants love, he wants attention, he wants to be kiss and held and cuddled. He needs it. He's an infallible archangel but he is also very human. so Sam is going to have to try harder and it's ok because it's Gabriel and Sam would do anything for that. He's Sam Winchester. When he says that it carries a lot of weight behind it. 

"I'm sorry my love. It won't happen again."

finally Sam closes the space between them, their mouths fitting perfectly and they go slow at first, it's experimental and new. and then Gabriel moves and Sam realizes he's still inside him and they both moan, the vibrations of their moans hitting the other and it's hot again and then Sam moves and fuck yes, this is _it._ He snakes one arm under Gabriel's waist and pulls him against him as he rotates his hip and continuous to kiss him, their kisses going from sweet to dirty and hot. After one particularly forceful thrust Gabriel moans and throws his head back and Sam takes full advantage of his neck, marking him up and down as he thrusts. Their bodies are so close to each other that he can feel Gabriel's dick sliding between them and when he leans in a little hard he hears Gabriel's breath hitch and he slaps a hand over Sam's eyes and even behind the hand Sam's vision whites out. He can feel Gabriel coming and his hole is clenching around Sam's dick so deliciously that he comes hard, biting into Gabriel's shoulder as he does, Gabriel's loud cries eliciting him to continue and everything feels hot and good and he wishes he could come forever. 

"I am never letting you go." He says finally, whispering it in Gabriel's ear where he's still draped over him. They turn their heads to look at each other and Gabriel gives him a blinding smile and Sam can't even help it. 

He leans in and gives him a soft kiss before asking

"Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is extremely long. it's more like what you'd get if I weren't always stuck at work.


	31. i wish i were x-👁 so i cud c u twice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well...i think i covered everything so i think this is the last chapter. it's been fun y'all. thank you so much for hanging in there w/ me through the short chapters, the angst, the drama and of course the story. LOL, I was referring to my damn life in the first part.  
> so funny i could cry.  
> but i digress.  
> lets see...oh! jen, jarpad, and misha tweeted out videos of a conference they did w two senators today and they're sooo cute. so it turns out the two senators r epic fans of the show and omggg, senator cory, no wait, so misha is trying to gear the conversation into what they're there for and the senator goes "MISHA! Wait! I have questions!" FKN Awesome.

It's the morning after and then the day after then the week after and so much has changed in that short time but somehow Sam finds himself bonded to an archangel. The 2nd one in history (Michael and Adam were first) and he absolutely understands Dean now. It's not so much that they can't die, it's the addition of everything else. They certainly _can_ die much to the chagrin of the angels but with their quicker reflexes, better eye sight (the even see colours that weren't previously visible to them), better hearing and the ability to teleport which literally not even Michael can explain because angels don't teleport, they _fly_ and the brothers Winchester don't have wings and yet, one time Dean wished he had stayed back at the hotel with Cas and then he was and that's how they figured out they could teleport. 

They learn not to question some stuff, they are, after all Winchesters (and ok, ok, Adam, _Milligan_ ). Either way, in short, yes, they can die, but now everything has a harder time killing them. Even the sun. Where most humans age because of the constant sun and ailments like pollution, illnesses, etc, none of those things affect the brothers and when they bond they revert to the last time that they were, for lack of a better word, perfect, ergo, the baby faces they all sport now. In order to not look like their dad's (that had been so gross and disturbing the one time it happened to Dean and Cas), the angels have modified their vessels to match their human's ages and to say that they all look fucking hot now is an understatement. The first time that Gabriel, Cas and Michael walked out wearing their younger counterparts, Sam's pretty sure that he along with his brothers almost blew their wad right there. Naturally, that's something he's not thinking too hard about. He just knows he'd all but run to Gabriel, picked him up and teleported them both back to their bed where they'd spent the rest of the day trying out their new refractory period. Gabriel's of course, was non par, but Sam's had apparently reverted back to his twenties and, dayum. 

And then there's Gabriel. 

Gabriel is something different in his own right. The very morning after, Sam quickly recognized that something had fundamentally changed in him. He wasn't aloof, didn't flit around, didn't disappear, didn't anything. He was practically attached to Sam's hip but more than that, all the vulnerability that Sam had often thought he saw in him was put out on display. It took Gabriel a long time to love and allow himself to be loved but once it happened he was absolutely all in. Sam had once thought that if he ever did anything with Gabriel that the novelty of _him_ would wear off and he'd probably never see Gabriel again but he didn't enter into account how it would be if Gabriel loved him. 

Michael even looked at him fondly as he watched him just be with Sam all the time. He mentioned that was how Gabriel used to be and Gabe had gotten a little flustered at the call out. He'd tried to separate himself from Sam for a little while but Sam could see right through him and even though the concept of Gabriel trying to be less sticky was amusing, he could also feel how it physically pained him to do it so once they'd settled in at Dean's bat cave he'd gone to grab his angel from where he was squirming uncomfortably on the recliner and carried him, bridal style, back to his own seat before plopping him unceremoniously on his lap. When Gabriel made a noise of protest Sam had simply looked at him and told him to stay. "I want you here. You belong here. On my lap. With me." 

And it seemed words of affirmation were Gabriel's thing because his entire being just relaxed so hard, Sam felt it. 

Overall life was good, even with the threat of Chuck hanging over their head. After a long discussion, wherein Dean, of all people, had pointed at their tv screen where Trump was trying to use his mouth to talk versus the usual orifice, that is to say talking out of his ass, and said, "you know, wasn't it Plato who said that absolute power corrupts absolutely and that no person is exempt?" It had been almost mumbled, like Dean was talking to himself but it caught the attention of everyone because where Dean tended to defer to Sam when it came to matters of the mind, occasionally his own brand of intelligence shone through whether he wanted it to or not and even when it seemed to take everyone aback at the same time it didn't because ultimately this was Dean Winchester, the Righteous Man. Sam knew that he and his brother's intelligence levels were different- where he was good with research and rules, laws, and policies, Dean was a whole 'nother level. His brother was astrology (hence his propensity to introduce himself as an Aquarius first and foremost), philosophy, and the original engineering of _anything._ That explained how and why he loved Baby so much and why he'd ever bothered making his own EMF sensor. He thought differently than Sam and although both extra intelligent, Dean had an extra something that was beyond Sam's capabilities. 

But Dean also had the lowest self-esteem so instead of calling attention to his absolutely brilliant chain of thought that already had Sam's wheels turning, he prodded him gently. "But Chuck isn't a person?" 

Dean grunted in response, brows furrowed as though he was trying to work something out in his own mind, and Sam knew he'd already asked himself that. 

"something-something" he muttered nonsensically"

It's only when Trump utters his millionth idiocy of the night, something about being comparable to a god, that Dean seems to slightly jolt and he turns to them. "Something about a Greek...maybe Roman god who was punished for breaking too many rules or abusing them or something?"

It's not a lot but it's something- it's enough for Sam to do what he does best and directly after watching Indiana Jones for the millionth time, he heads to the library and after giving his archangel a kiss and a hug asks him to please pull out all the books the bunker owns on Greek and Roman mythology. Gabriel is all too happy to help as that's something else Sam has noticed about him. He may not like fighting but that didn't mean he didn't like helping and he appreciated any chance he could take at showing off for Sam. 

It takes about a month before Sam is able to find anything useable. The mentions are brief and never outright state a name so it's a lot of fill in the blanks type of work but that's ok because flying by the seat of their pants is Winchester MO. 

It does require Billie and when she refuses to answer their summons, Dean takes to singing O' Death, by Jen Titus, around the bunker, for a full 12 days before Billie shows up in a flurry of robes and scythe. 

"What?!" She asks, exasperated at Dean's smirk. 

"We need your help." 

She rolls her eyes, turning to look at Amara who for unknown reasons has travelled with her and nope, Dean's not thinking about that at all. 

"Nothing new there." She mutters, making Amara smile softly and indulgently and nope, he's not thinking a damn thing. 

"Fine." Billie says, tapping her scythe and making everyone appear at the table, seated. Only Michael glowers; the others accustomed to the non-nonsense theatrics Billie often employs. 

She crosses her arms and remains standing until Amara clears her throat and nods towards the empty chair next to hers. At first it seems like Billie is going to refuse but something in Amara's eyes has her relenting and she sighs and takes a damn seat. 

Sam watches the interaction, amused. He reviews the plan over in his mind and it's suddenly clear how much better it can work with Amara's presence. 

Together, the six of them outline their plan, with Gabriel looking at Sam proudly when he announces the small changes that can take place is Amara is willing to work with them. 

"So in short, you're not trying to strip my brother of his powers, you're distributing them so that the essence is still there and he's like some sort of background puppet that won't be able to actually do anything but his presence alone will be enough for the power to remain?"

"Yes." Dean says immediately. 

"Hmm." The two immortals look at each other. "That might just work."

"And you need me for what? I cannot be both darkness and light. I cannot take up his mantle."

"Nah, we know. We just need you to...hold him down?"

Amara winces. It's minute and fleeting but it's there and having to hurt someone you love to help them is a concept none of them are strangers with. Dean had to lock Sam up when he was feining for demon blood, Sam had to lock Dean up when he was a demon. Dean's jaw twitches and in a surprisingly cordial and apologetic moment, he tells Amara that he is sorry for the way things have to play out. "Eventually we'll be able to let him up," he says, "we've always been able to pull each other out of whatever, we'll be able to do it with Chuck too, I promise. We'll find a way. We just have to be a little harsher with him in the beginning because of who he is." It's surprising because the Dean of old may not have liked what had to be done but was stoic and uncompromising but the events leading up to The End have taught him that he does not know best and that just because something appears to be the only way doesn't mean that it's true. 

Sam wonders if Dean knows that he's shown his Righteous Man colours just then because truth be told, they hadn't discussed letting Chuck up. At all. Ever. And yet, watching Amara's face crumble had been the reminder they didn't know they needed that Chuck was someone's little brother and if he had been able to cure Sam and subsequently be cured by Sam, then why couldn't the rest be true? Hadn't other strong beings taught them that they could change? From Lenora, the vampire, to Michael? To Amara, herself? Gabriel? The list was endless. 

Dean looked at Sam then, determination in his eyes and Sam gave him a slight nod. 

"You are family." He told Amara firmly. "We will do everything in our arsenal to get him better."

"Thank you." Amara says then. 

After wrapping up their plans, it's two days later and The Day is upon them. 

Sam had completely forgotten about Michael's promise to help him prank Dean until he hears a shout and runs to help his brother only to find him shell-shocked at the entrance of the garage. It seems Michael took Sam's ideas of spray paint and Dean's Baby has a convergence of all three facets. Not only is it pink but it has a kaleidoscopic sheen on it that Sam just knows means it's going to change colours with the sun. Michael has also given it a scent. The whole car smells like flowers. The smell is subtle but there and Dean is wailing about how his Baby smells like old lady, Cas is staring squinty eyed, probably trying to figure out what old ladies have to do with flowers, Adam is arching a brow at his mate who's doing a poor job at hiding his pleased smirk and Gabriel is cracking up so hard his wings burst into their plane and Sam is trying his hardest to not laugh but he can feel his face about to burst so he takes the two steps to Dean and places a hand on his shoulder. 

"You thought you could use an archangel to prank me?" He tells his brother softly, letting just a tiny bit of mania into his voice. They're all crazy. They have to be in their line of work. One doesn't see the Devil's true face and walks away from it unscathed after all. But it's a power Sam will never do anything with other than give his brother the heebie-jeebies. Sam watches as Dean's neck breaks out in goosebumps. 

"Payback's a bitch isn't it, jerk?"

Dean turns to his head to look at him then, a smile creeping across his face. 

"Well played little bitch." He concedes. 

"Alright then everyone. Looks like today we're riding out in style thanks to Michael. Come on, short stop," He tells Gabriel whose wings are still out, "put away the bird feathers, it's time to get this show on the road."

Then they're all in the car and the garage bay doors open and they're off. They're the Winchesters, heroes of the world and somewhere along the way it changed from being a burden to becoming the thing they knew they were meant to do. Adam looks at Michael, Sam looks at Gabriel, Dean looks at Castiel and though they smile at each other, they aren't afraid. They will conquer, they will win, they will live to see another day with each other and their partners. 

Love got them in this and love is going to get them out. 

They have Chuck to thank for that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure there's shit I forgot to address. feel free to remind me. I may go back and fix it or just add a timestamp. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it. 
> 
> Today is 08/16/2020 and it's 8:29pm CT and this fic is actually complete, lol. Who am I when I'm not looking? 
> 
> I'm already working on my next WIP. It's an au 'verse where Sam/Dean didn't grow up together and the results are that Dean is a sweetheart but Sam's an asshole. What happens when Dean asks Sam to give Gabe a ride to-and-from work for the foreseeable future? Lets just say that Sam never thought that conversations that spanned 30 minutes each way could be so life changing. 😉


End file.
